Belle and Jack
by Magdelope
Summary: This is the sequel to my Jack and Belle. It is going to go more in depth than my first one. It is a femslash Jack/Belle, femshep/Liara. Set in mass effect 3 and post-m e 3. Probably contains spoilers! Romance/Family/Drama
1. Chapter 1 - Professor Jack

**So, here is the sequel.**

**Disclaimer: Bioware owns everyone, except Belle, I'm just making the puppets dance**

**Chapter 1 – Professor Jack**

"Professor Jack," a boy with silly smile said as Jack entered the classroom at Grissom academy; the woman nodded quickly at the boy and then took her position in the front of the class.

"Okay people," she said and was relieved, as any teacher would when her class actually silenced and turned their attention to her, "today we are going to train biotic fields and I don't care what those other professors of yours tell you, _this is _your most important class so unless you are dead I want to see that essay I assigned to you last week."

A cacophony of protest came from her students and as always there were a few that tried to make some excuse, but Jack stood, unmoving with her arms crossed at her chest and could not be persuaded to let anyone off the hook. The four students that did not have their essays she sent away, told them to write it right away or not come back.

The former convict was incredibly proud of her students and proud of herself for shaping them. When she had arrived at Grissom the other teachers had sneered at her and given her the most difficult students. But Jack had taken them in, not given them a chance to cause her trouble, after all, she had been _more_ troubled than them; but together the students and their professor had slowly healed together. The students had responded well to her teaching style and to Jack they had become something she had never had before: a family.

Now the other teachers had started to warm up to her as well and Jack felt that she had actually created some sort of stable home for herself on the campus. Not that she didn't occasionally want to run away; but still, most mornings she woke up with something of a smile on her face.

After the lesson she walked through the hallway, passing by the teachers' lounge. She tried to hurriedly skip past the open door hoping no one would ask her to be _social. _She liked the job too much and could only ignore her co-workers friendliness from time to time. There were some advances that she didn't decline however and she had gotten herself quite a few quick lays over the last couple of months, no emotional attachments though. Jack had decided to stay clear of those.

There was one woman however that Jack had now fucked several times, it was a student, but one over twenty. Her personality was horrendous and tedious but she did have a way in the sheets that for moments made Jack forget how empty she felt. Jack even knew what it was about _Jane _that attracted her so, it was that even though her hair was a boring shade of brown her entire body was filled with freckles… and sometimes, sometimes, when they were in the middle of it Jack almost managed to forget who it really was that was there, next to her.

She went out into the open that was modified to look like a park. Because even though Grissom Academy was basically a space station, it was a lovely campus. Several different parts of the academy was sectioned off with pieces of park all spread out. Jack spent most of the time in the part that was dedicated to the ascension project. It had a building with dorms, where the teachers had a whole floor to themselves, a training area and a building with normal classrooms. That was the building that Jack was walking from now.

The ascension project was a part of the academy that most people still didn't know about. It had started in 2183 and had grown to be the most prominent program at the academy, with its focus on helping human kids with biotic powers. It nurtured them and helped them reach their biotic potential in the same time as try to integrate them into human society. Kids with biotics had several problems, as Jack knew so well but she was very confident that all her students would be fine. The only real problem she had with the academy was that they would not allow her to swear in lesson.

She went into one of the sections and went up the four flights of stairs it took to get to her room. Room number 548. Every time Jack saw it, she always smiled at the fact that there was no number zero. _Still, they could have named the rooms something, or named them alphabetically, anything really, _she thought, _numbers are so impersonal. _

She went into her room, kicking off her boots and stopping dead in her tracks when seeing a very naked Jane on her bed.

"Hm…hope you don't mind," Jane said, tilting her head to the side, "I let myself into the room and bed of the psychotic biotic." The psychotic biotic was Jack's nickname among the students, a nickname that she actually really liked.

But she did not like the intrusion when she just wanted to rest. She threw her jacket on the chair next to her desk and took two dangerous steps towards her bed and Jane.

"Jane, get the fuck out," she said in her most threatening voice, "I'm not in the mood."

Instead of waiting for an answer, she went into her bathroom and threw water on her face. It was a bad day, she thought to herself, everybody has them, it's no big deal. She noticed to her annoyance that Jane still hadn't left. Jack growled a little bit, not looking forward to having to confront the naked woman in her bed.

She turned to face her mirror. Without thinking she lightly touched the newest tattoo on her shoulder, it wasn't sore anymore, a witness to how time flies even if you are not having fun. She traced the inky bite marks on her shoulder with her finger. A sudden gasp escaped Jack's lips and she had to close her eyes, fighting her emotions, wanting to forget. _Belle!_

Jack needed to escape desperately. She turned off her head, left the bathroom and in one quick motion discarded her clothes on the floor, joining the suddenly surprised but very happy woman in her bed.

It had been a long nine months.


	2. Chapter 2- Belle's anger

**Chapter 2 – Belle's anger**

_"Ladies and gentlemen we are now entering citadel space and we will be arriving in approximately fifteen standard minutes." The raven-haired girl looked up at when hearing the words and then decided that it was time to prepare. She stood up and walked to the bathroom and then locked the door. _

_ When she was inside she opened her bag and started fiddling with the things inside. She took up several little blue balls and put them inside her shirt and then masking the bulk with a thick jacket. Then she took one last look in the mirror, pulling her fingers through her hair… she still hadn't got used to the color. Then she pulled her bag to her shoulder and left the bathroom._

"Ladies and gentlemen we have now docked at the citadel. Please check your seats to make sure that you have not left any belongings."

Jack stood up and waited, somewhat impatiently, for the isle to clear so that she could leave. She didn't like the intergalactic shuttles that picked passengers up from all over the place before arriving at the citadel. At least Grissom was one of the last stops so she didn't have to be on it that long; just a few hours. It was crowded though.

It was weekend and the professor had decided that she needed a break. Perhaps go to some clubs, dance a little, have some fun; it was all she could do to not go crazy just staying in one place. Jack also loved the smug feeling she got when flashing her alliance ID which let her go onboard on the ship, she laughed inside at what people from her past would think if they could see her. How far she had gotten, how she had managed better than anyone.

The isle had finally cleared and it was only a few people left, a group of asaris, a human mother and child and one alone human girl. Jack sighed and finally made her way to the security center. There was still a bit of a queue but at least there were two of them, otherwise security would take all day. Jack went to the shorter one but noticed very soon that she had made the wrong choice, because even if the other queue was longer it was clearly going faster.

"What is going on?" Jack growled in an impatient voice, really wanting to enter the citadel. The turian in front of her turned around and did a gesture which resembled a human eye-roll.

"Some salarian wants to bring prohibited items… claims they are for a weak stomach."

Jack sighed and moved queue, muttering under her breath . She had now winded up behind the dark-haired woman. This queue moved strikingly fast and very soon there were only the lonely girl between Jack and the security desk.

_Sometimes it is such a fucking bother to obey rules, _Jack thought and started thinking about the days when she would have entered the citadel illegally or even blasted her way through depending on how cocky she would have been feeling that day. But she wanted to return to her students so Jack had to accept that that part of her life was, at least temporarily, over. At least there was a war coming, soon she would be able to get some action and at least kick some reaper ass.

"Ma'am!" The man handling the security woke Jack up from her thoughts, "this bag is full of prohibited items!"

The girl who had stood in front of Jack started arguing. Her voice made Jack's heart beat faster. Where had she heard it? It was as if something was keeping her from remembering.

"Please sir," the girl pleaded, "I need…"

"No way, ma'am," the officer said firmly, "these… well, I don't know what they are but they are giving strong readings of biotic energy… actually your whole bag is giving off the same reading. You have to leave the whole thing here."

"Fine!" the girl snapped and threw her bag on the counter, "whatever!" and then she went through security, her black hair bouncing off her shoulders at the speed.

Jack flashed her ID- badge and her bag was clean so she got through without any difficulties, it barely took a minute. Then she was through and started to walk with determined steps, she was going to start by dropping off her bag at a local hotel. She looked forward to the night, sleeping in luxurious sheets instead of the rugged economy one at the academy; maybe even with someone else if she got lucky. Even the former subject zero preferred nice sleeping quarters.

She kept walking, passing through buildings and planning the rest of her day, where she was going to go, but then she noticed the girl from before. She was still keeping her head down, her dark hair concealing her face but there was something about the way she moved that made Jack stop and stare. The girl was walking but not with the same determination as before, instead her body language screamed uncertainty. Jack wouldn't have cared usually, but there was something…. Without knowing why Jack took four heavy steps towards the girl and grabbed her arm, making the girl lift her gaze from the floor and face her. And sure enough, inside the dark curtain that should have been red, was the sad and angry, but so very beautiful, face of Belle.

"Belle," Jack whispered. She had known that it was Belle from the moment she had heard the girl talk but for some reason she hadn't wanted to internalize it. It hadn't passed a single day that she hadn't regretted leaving her and now with Belle actually here; Jack didn't know what to say.

Belle's eyes suddenly shone with recognition and there was a moment of raw emotion but then she pulled her arm from Jack's hand.

"You left," she said and looked down, "why did you leave?" Belle could have kicked herself. She had imagined this moment so many times in her head and in none of the scenes had she asked Jack that question. She wanted to be cool, show her former lover that she could manage without her. But now, when she was actually here, with Jack in front of her, she wanted to cry.

The girl shock her head, trying to regain her composure, but it was difficult. She had already been in trouble before meeting Jack. _Where is Miranda? _

"I'm sorry, okay," Jack said also looking down. It was so awkward.

"Hey Jack!" Jack looked over Belle's shoulder and groaned. _Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, dammit. _It was the last thing that Jack needed right now. It was Jane with some other older students. She was walking with quick confident steps towards Jack and to everyone's horror threw her arms around the professor.

"I didn't know that you were going here."

Jack pushed Jane away and almost screamed at her.

"Jane, for fuck's sake get away from me! You were nothing more than a lay, that's it!" Jane's face didn't change expression at all but instead winked at Jack.

"Yeah, keep telling yourself that, psychotic biotic," but then she turned around and went back to her friends who were waving and whistling.

Jack screamed some profanities after them but it only caused more whistling and happy cheers from the students.

Jack was almost scared to look at Belle's face but made herself face her. Belle looked like she had been punched; she looked up and met Jack's eyes. They were so sad and so clearly hurt. It made Jack ache inside.

"Hey," she tried and Belle looked up, her eyes now filled with a fiery rage, "can't we… you know… talk or something?"

Belle wanted badly to say no, but she had no place to go. _Not since Miranda had disappeared._ She nodded reluctantly. Jack gestured for her to follow and went to the hotel where she had a room reserved.

When they were inside the room Jack threw her bag on the floor and sat down on the edge of her bed. Put her head in her hands. So many conflicting emotions were rapturing inside of her. Belle looked good, a little less girl, a little more woman. Her hair was different off course but her long black skirt was still very her. Jack could almost sense Belle's anger. Angry at her. Jack searched her head but couldn't remember any time before that Belle had been angry, for some reason Jack had almost managed to kill her but Belle had never felt any animosity towards her. Until now.

Jack dared to look up and all emotion ran off her. Belle was crying quietly, her eyes were closed and tears were flowing down her cheeks. Jack felt something that resembled tears on her own cheeks as well. Stood up and sat down in front of the chair that Belle was sitting. And without thinking she pulled Belle into her arms on the floor and thanked fate when Belle didn't struggle but let Jack hold her.


	3. Chapter 3 - A bowl of ramen

**Chapter 3 – A bowl of ramen**

_ It had been a long nine months for Belle as well. After Shepard had turned herself in to the alliance the crew had spread. Chakwas had off course wanted for Belle to join her at the alliance citadel hospital but Belle had reclined, slightly worried to accept another job offer from her aunt-mother. They had parted on good terms however, and they tried to keep in touch. Belle even called her mom from time to time. _

_ The nurse had been a bit lost at first, but then she had found her purpose working alongside Miranda Lawson, helping her to protect Oriana. A friendship had blossomed. Belle worked as a freelance nurse, selling her services here and there, keeping them afloat financially and gathering intel where she could. What exactly Miranda did Belle wasn't sure off, but didn't question either. They had needed each other. _

_ The last time they had seen each other they had been preparing for the most daring feat yet. Belle had colored her hair dark and borrowed Oriana's clothes in an attempt to impersonate the sister while Miranda could get her somewhere safe. They were supposed to meet again at the citadel but Miranda hadn't been there and their place had been scrubbed clean, looted. And then Belle had run into Jack._

_ The last night Belle and Miranda had seen each other they had sat and just talked. It was a strange friendship but they did enjoy each other's company. Miranda had been sitting and crying, so tired and worried, Belle didn't know what had made her do it but she had gone and thrown her arms around the woman, kissed Miranda's eyelids and then a quick chaste kiss on the mouth. Miranda had withdrawn and Belle had smiled and chuckled._

_ "Don't worry Miri," she had said in a soft voice, "I know you are too perfect to be like me," she had stood up, "and either way, I still belong to Jack. But don't worry. I will find you before the end; you will not be alone." Miranda had closed her eyes and smiled, Belle knew how scared she was that she would be alone like she always had been. But now she had Belle and they took care of each other and they took care of Oriana together._

But it didn't matter, because Miranda was gone, Belle didn't know where. And Belle was sitting on the floor crying, being rocked in the safety of Jack's strong arms.

Jack didn't know any of this, she just knew that her girl needed it so she stayed, held her, smelled her hair. For some reason the biotic understood that she was the stronger one now, she was no longer chaotic on the inside; she had found purpose. Belle was still shaking but her violent sobbing had subsided. She wiped her cheeks with the back of her sleeve and then stood up, leaving Jack on the floor. Jack was still eyeing her carefully.

The girl looked at the biotic, taking her in. The woman had changed, she had filled out a little bit and she had hair on her head. Belle had to admit that she looked good, her biotic looked really good. But then she remembered that Jack was no longer her biotic, maybe she never had been. Belle swallowed, she had to leave. Even if Miranda was gone there was always Chakwas.

Jack stood up and Belle followed her.

"I have to go?" Belle bit down on her lip. She hadn't meant to make it into a question.

"No," Jack said, "you can stay… I… shit, Belle, I don't know what to say! I left, I hate myself for it. Didn't you get my letter?"

Belle snorted.

"Yeah, I got it," she said scornfully, "but I don't know how much I believe it now when it seems like you jump into bed with any girl…" Jack stood up, not believing her ears.

"Come on," she said ignoring Belle's hurtful words, she fucking deserved them, "you look hungry; there is a foodjoint across the street. I'll buy you something."

Belle looked up but kept quiet. She nodded. And they left.

…

It was a ramen-place. Jack usually ate there; the food was quick, filling and not bad. It was earth-food, something that Jack thought Belle would appreciate, her being from earth and all. But it turned out Belle didn't have much of an appetite, she mainly sat, stirring her food but only occasionally brought the spoon to her lips.

Jack hated the tension, it made her skin crawl and her head was buzzing. She had looked forward to a nice exciting weekend. Usually she would have by now been dancing in some bar, eyeing a cute girl or even a good-looking man. Instead she was sitting there, looking at Belle not eating. _You have gone soft Jack, _she thought to herself. She had to get Belle to talk, to say anything.

"So," she said, trying to sound like herself, "what's with the hair?"

Belle shook her head, not ready to tell Jack about anything and definitely not ready to tell her that she had been working and living with the _cerberus cheerleader. _

"Wanted a change," she said, "what's with yours?"

"Why the fuck not, I thought," Jack replied and her heart felt lighter when Belle actually smiled. Suddenly the cold girl in front of her changed, almost becoming the nurse again. The soft girl that had melted Jack's heart once upon a time.

"I missed you," Belle whispered, almost so low that Jack wasn't sure that she had heard right. Belle turned her head up and her green eyes looked at Jack.

"I want to tell you," she said, "I want to tell you everything but I can't yet…" she looked down. Feeling so tired.

"I'm in trouble Jack," Belle continued, "and I'm not like you, I'm not like Miranda, or Shepard or Tali… I don't do fighting, I can't act cool in dangerous situations and now I'm here… and I'm… I'm scared."

Jack stood up and threw some credits on the table.

"Come on," she said, "let's go back to the room. We can talk there."

…

Belle didn't want to tell her everything. She couldn't. But Jack asked questions with such calm and carefulness that Belle almost wondered if she still was the same person. Jack had an air of authority around her that made Belle feel safe.

"I'm almost a little bit relieved" Jack said when Belle finished talking, "as much as I don't like you working with the likes of the Cerberus bitch I almost thought you had colored your hair to look more like your fucking family. That would have just been too much." But then she continued on a more serious note and the mocking tone in her voice disappeared.

"So, what do you want to do now? I mean, do you want to look for Miranda, do you want to stay with Chakwas… or do you…" Jack didn't finish her sentence, suddenly lacking courage.

Belle looked up and the sad looked she had on her face gave Jack all the courage she needed.

"Or," she continued pulling in air through her nose, "or, you can stay with me for a while. Grissom academy is still a safe place. Maybe you could even get a job of some sorts, no promises though."

Belle looked up. What was Jack saying? Belle almost felt the anger flare up again, she didn't need Jack! Jack had left her! The girl opened her eyes to say something nasty back but instead she surprised herself.

"Yes," Belle said, "perhaps I could stay for a while. If it is alright with you." Jack nodded eagerly, she still felt bad for leaving, especially now when she saw what life had done to Belle.

"We can leave tomorrow," Jack said, wanting to get Belle settled in as soon as possible, "is there anything you need pick up at yours and _the bitch's _place?" Jack didn't manage Miranda's name, "you did managed to lose your bag at the citadel security."

Belle giggled.

"I have learned some things," she said and took her jacket off. Then she removed four small blue orbs that she had stuffed inside her shirt and then also removed a long machete from her back, so long that Jack wondered how Belle had managed to remain comfortable until then.

"What is this?" Jack said and took up one the balls, it was slightly humming and felt warm to the touch.

Belle smiled.

"Cool, aren't they?" she asked, "it's an invention of mine actually, they are biotic grenades. Miranda helped me make them, her being a biotic and all. And it was all an act at security; I would never let them take all my defenses. Not when it is all I have."

Jack made a gesture towards the big knife.

"What's with the blade?" she asked, "the grenades I get, but not this. You can only use it in close combat." And for some reason Jack could not see her girl doing that.

"I haven't actually used it," Belle said and rewarded Jack with a little smile, "but I found it is good for threatening."

"Oh, Jack," she said after a while, "I don't recognize myself anymore. Grenades and knifes and undercover and impersonating. It is not me… I have become someone else."

Jack looked at her calmly.

"Don't worry, Belle," she said, "one day the war will be over and then you will go back to being yourself."

Belle smiled again, tears were glistening in her eyes but her smile was no longer quivering.

"When did you get so wise?" She asked Jack with just a hint of a teasing smile.

"Oh fuck that," Jack said enjoying the sudden lightness of the conversation, "I am what I always was… I just have more responsibility now."

It was getting late and the women were out of words. Belle was tired but feeling slightly awkward concerning where she was going to sleep. Jack was still not making any sign of being uncomfortable or tired at her spot by the wall. She was leaning against the wall, her arms crossed. _Dammit, _Belle thought, _she looks so good. _

"I think I need to sleep," Belle said and almost smiled when Jack looked slightly panicked, "I can sleep on the floor, don't panic." She said and Jack shook her head.

"Off course not," she said, "I have some business I need to take care of before sleeping anyway. So you just get comfortable and I'll be back in a few hours."

Belle nodded, not daring to ask where Jack was going, knowing that it wasn't her place. Jack nodded to her and then left.

Belle was suddenly alone in the room. She didn't feel as safe as she had when Jack was still there, but it was good enough for Belle to manage to sleep.

She took her skirt off and laid down on the bed, between the crisp sheet of the hotel bed. It was nice, comfortable and Belle liked the idea that Jack would come back and find her here, asleep in her bed. Belle played with the thought of taking all her clothes off, letting Jack find her naked, but she decided against it… The Jack she had imagined on all those lonely nights was such a different creature than the sexy confident _professor _that Belle had met today. Belle hadn't known how much she had missed Jack until today. She had missed all of Jack, her piercing deep brown eyes, her thin black eyebrows, the scar on her lip, her nose, the scars on her eyebrow, her lips, the biotic amps on her ears, her neck, _her_. Belle felt her head swimming, all the emotions she had buried resurfacing. _Jack! _She thought, _Jack, why did you leave?! _Her old frustration came back, her confusion at why Jack had left. She refused to understand, she couldn't understand! Belle turned around and buried her head on the pillow, wanting to scream but no sound came out. She had wanted to stay awake until Jack came back but she felt sleep tugging at her. The girl couldn't even remember when the last time she had had a good night's sleep was.

"Jack," she whimpered one last time and then she fell into worried sleep.


	4. Chapter 4 -Resistance is futile

**Chapter 4 – Resistance is futile**

Jack had gone straight to Flux. Not to pick someone up but after meeting Belle she was in desperate need of a drink. She wasn't the same person anymore; she wasn't the same person who had left out of fear. First Belle and now her students, Jack _had _gone soft… she knew it but it didn't scare her anymore; in fact it made her stronger.

"A shot," Jack said simply to the bartender and jumped on top of one of the barstools, throwing a couple of credits on the counter in the same time. Her thoughts went to the girl sleeping back at the hotel. She was furious about what that Cerberus Bitch had made Belle do. _Impersonating her sister! _Jack drank her shot with one quick movement and ordered one more.

Belle was for crying out at least as young as Oriana! Jack put down her glass in anger, not thinking about the fact that despite Belle's young age she was still an adult who could make her own choices. _I left Belle to protect her, _Jack thought, _not so that the fucking Cerberus cheerleader could use her! _As Jack drank her fourth shot, her anger towards Belle's plight started getting muddled up with her general anger towards Cerberus. She stood up, swaying from side to side a little. She shrugged her shoulders, tried to clear her head. She needed to go back. She paid her tab and then left.

_Belle was there again. First being dragged through the Normandy, a huge collector pulling her hair. Then she was trapped again… so hot! Suffocating! She can't breathe! _

"Miranda", Jack froze as Belle started moaning the former Cerberus operative's name, "Miranda…"

Jack had just walked through the room and had gotten concerned when she saw Belle twisting and turning in what appeared to be very troubled sleep. The professor had just been about to put her hand to Belle's forehead when Belle had started saying Miranda's name. Over and over, she said it, after a while tears started running down her cheeks.

"Miranda," jealousy was starting to form in the not-so-drunk-anymore Jack. She threw her jacket on the chair and sat down on the other side of the bed with so much force that it woke Belle up.

The girl gasped and sat up, sweat and tears making her face wet, she looked over at Jack. Feeling relieved that she wasn't alone.

The first times she had woken up from the collector nightmare Miranda hadn't known what to do, but as the time had passed Miranda had learned to help Belle. A motherly warm hand on Belle's cold forehead, sometimes a hug. Now without Miranda here, Belle felt helplessly lost.

"Jack?" she said in a soft voice but Jack didn't reply. It was her turn to be angry and she faced Belle with fire in her dark eyes.

"Miranda?" she said in a mocking tone, sounding very much like her old self, "so how long did it take for you two to start fucking?"

Belle looked at her, clearly distressed and confused but it didn't soothe Jack's terrible mood.

"What are you talking about?" Belle said with alarm in her voice.

"You were moaning her fucking name in your sleep!" Jack was angry, her new found maturity gone as drunkenness and mild rage had taken over.

"What?" Belle said, her eyes first looked scared but then anger started shining in them as well.

"What do you mean?" Belle said, this time with more force, "I bloody had a nightmare, Miranda tends to come and check on me since you haven't been there for the past nine months! You haven't been there… you are the one who have been doing god knows how many people… while I…" she lowered her voice and wiped her chin angrily as more furious tears found their way down her cheeks.

"I have been waiting for you like a bloody idiot, thinking…" her voice lost its power, "I don't know what I thought… I was clearly wrong anyway."

Jack was sitting down next to her, hands on her face again, but not moving a muscle. _She's got her shoes on the bed, _Belle thought feeling even angrier about that fact. She had kept herself for Jack, thinking that they had had something. She still had Jack's letter, usually tucked somewhere on her person but now it felt so stupid. Belle was angry with herself, she was _such a girl, _dreaming about an attainable biotic killer who could not attach to or love anyone.

"I didn't…" Jack tried, "I didn't mean to hurt you."

Belle snorted, clearly not caring what Jack had and hadn't meant. Jack didn't know what to say, she didn't want to hurt Belle but she wasn't use to being in this position. She wasn't usually in the position of making people hurt _less._ Making people hurt was more up her alley.

"I couldn't get you out of my head," she eventually said but received no movement or reaction from Belle. She continued, "Anyone else, they don't fucking mean anything. I tried to close the fucking gap I have in my chest… but it didn't help. Shit, I didn't think that I would ever see you again; hell I almost hoped that I would never see you again. That I would never need to feel like this again. People like me aren't supposed to feel this way, it's too fucking intense."

With that Jack stopped talking. She had nothing more to say anyway, she was spent. Belle was lying, looking up in the roof, tears were still glistening in the faint light but she didn't make a sound; she did not have anything to say either.

Jack laid down, reached for Belle's hand quietly and was rewarded when the girl's fingers entwined with hers. The killer turned her face away. Belle always brought out the weirdest reactions and emotions in her. Despair, confusion, loving, _happiness?_ Jack felt her head fill with profanities, any swearing to take away the warmth filling her chest.

…

The night and the following shuttle ride to the academy was uneventful. Belle and Jack didn't talk; they just woke up, gathered their things and then went to the intergalactic shuttle. Belle was perpetually worried, looking over her shoulder, her eyes going from one side to the other. But when they went into the shuttle and found their seats she seemed to relax.

They didn't talk during the ride but it wasn't uncomfortable silence, they were just out of words and they both accepted it. There would be time to talk; neither of them were going anywhere at the moment.

* * *

**Is everyone still enjoying it? :) drop a review and let me know how I'm doing!**


	5. Chapter 5 - Grissom academy

**Chapter 5 - Grissom academy**

"So, this is my room," Jack said as they entered her quarters. Belle was walking ahead of her and Jack stopped to look at the girl as she started taking the room in. It was the nicest living quarters Jack had ever had the privilege of sleeping in. The room was light, with two big windows facing the park down below. She had a huge modern-style four poster bed, a big desk with a comfortable chair and a bookcase. On her desk lay a big messy pile of papers. The room was generic, probably the same as any of the other teacher's rooms, but there were still signs that this was _Jack's room. _The bathroom door was open and the counter inside was filled with mascara and different types of black eyeliner. The desk was not just occupied with the pile of papers but also a big shotgun, with several boxes of thermal clips next to it. The room was not as messy as Belle would have imagined and she found she liked it.

The girl walked in and hanged her thick jacket on the back of Jack's chair. Looked around, unsure of where to go or what to do next. Jack went in and threw her bag on the bed. Reached up to her head and pulled the band holding her hair together off, and then pulled her fingers through it in one swift motion. Belle looked at her; she was so different, so authoritative and seemed so sure of everything. She still had some edge however and in her eyes there was still danger swimming there, threatening to resurface should it be necessary.

"I need a shower," the biotic said, "if you want you can take one after me. After that we should go and talk to the principal about employment or something." Belle nodded and sat down on the chair. She looked curiously at the stack of papers; she smiled when it dawned on her that they were essays. _Gosh, _she thought, _Jack grades papers? _She liked this responsible version of Jack; it was thrilling in a way.

Sudden sound of water let Belle know that Jack had gotten in the shower. Belle started thrumming her fingers into the desk, impatient. Something was missing. They still hadn't talked and Belle needed to talk but she had other needs too. _No, not like that, _Belle thought familiar heat rising to her cheeks, _but there can't be anything wrong in simply entering the bathroom and starting to prepare for the shower. _She was lying to herself and she knew it, but she couldn't stop herself.

She stood up and slipped into the bathroom quietly. Went up to the sink and threw some water in her face. She stood with her back to the shower which was covered in glass but still had quite a good view in the mirror's reflection.

Jack suddenly opened the shower door and winked.

"Want to join me, little girl?" She sounded like herself, using the same voice that had once seduced Belle in the bathroom in Flux all those months ago.

Belle tried to answer, but couldn't use her voice. Instead she just started to take her clothes off, in a hurry all of a sudden. Off came her boots, her skirt and then she turned around to remove her shirt, her tights and at last her underwear.

"What is that?" Jack's question made Belle smiled.

"I hide the scars that make me a monster," she said, referring to the poem that Jack had once sent to her. Her back that had once been painted with a spiderweb of scars from a whip was now covered with an inky tree. The girl loved how it covered up her scars and in the same time was beautiful on its own.

She giggled and turned to face Jack, but still self-conscious. She tried to hide her body as much as possible even though Jack had already seen her naked several times. She joined her biotic in the shower. Jack pulled her arms down to her side and eyed her hungrily.

"Fucking beautiful," she said and actually licked her lips causing some alarm in Belle's chest. She felt like Jack was eyeing her like some predator might eye its prey and it made Belle feel uncomfortable; and excited but mostly uncomfortable.

"Please Jack," she whispered, "I'm not… ready… I'm sorry." Jack gave her form one last lingering look but then she faced her and nodded.

"Don't worry little girl," she said in a teasing tone, "it's not the first time I have to wait for you." And with that Jack left. They had barely touched except for Jack's lingering hold on her arms, and her burning eyes on Belle's body. Belle couldn't help but feel slight disappointment mixed with relief. Being severely scarred had taken its toll on how she felt about her body but somehow Jack always managed to make her feel wanted and attractive.

Jack had now left the bathroom and was getting dressed in her main room. Pulled on a regular t-shirt and a pair of her cargo trousers but left her shoes off. Then while Belle was still showering she sat down on her desk, pulled the papers in front of her. She was going to have to correct them sometime and she might as well start.

It had been difficult to leave Belle in the shower, it really had. Her body _had _filled out more and she was actually curvier than Jack remembered and the professor couldn't wait to get reacquainted and truly explore what was different; she was also slightly intrigued by the new ink on her former lover's back. She wanted to resume some kind of relationship with Belle but was in no hurry. Jack _had _changed. She ruffled her wet hair with her hands and then dived in the pile of papers.

_Prangley, _she thought, how_ many times do I have to explain what a biotic amp does, the idiot is never going to get it!_

Belle came out from the shower, a towel around her body. She looked at her slightly dirty clothes on the floor… Jack traced her line of thought and stood up.

"I can borrow you something," she said and hurried towards her dresser, "do you have any credits?" she continued, "there is actually some stores on campus; we could check it out later." Belle nodded and looked curiously at the clothes that Jack threw at her. It was a pair of alliance standard underwear, a pair of cargo trousers that would probably be too big for Belle and a grey tank-top.

"Sorry," Jack said, not sounding sorry, "don't have any bras… too fucking uncomfortable. But we will put your clothes to wash asap." She pronounced asap as one word rather than the letters separately. Belle smiled and thanked her and started putting the clothes on. As she anticipated the trousers were too big but Jack threw her a belt that at least kept the trousers at her hip. When Belle was dressed she checked herself in the mirror. She didn't look like Belle Chakwas anymore, the careful girl, born into a privilege life, taught to dress and behave ladylike. She looked tomboyish, cargo trousers, and her shoulder length black hair messy and wet. Jack looked at her, remembering how Belle had looked when they had first met. Long proper dress, red hair put together in a proper braid, shy smile. Jack went and stood next to Belle, facing the mirror. They had both changed; no longer the Belle and Jack they had been last year.

"I like you like this," Jack said and reached up and touched Belle's black hair quickly, "and I can get used to your hair if I have to I guess." Belle chuckled.

"If you have to…" she repeated, actually enjoying the possessive tone in Jack's voice. She leaned her head on Jack's shoulder and Jack put an arm around her shoulders instinctively. Both women reveled in how well their bodies matched. Apart from their changed looks and attitude it was as if the past nine months had never happened.


	6. Chapter 6 - Patchouli

**Chapter 6- Patchouli**

"Now, little girl, I have to do some work," Jack said and let go of Belle, "the principal should be in her office this afternoon."

Jack then resumed her place in the desk and started rummaging through the essays. She sighed and rubbed her eyes. This was the worst part of her job.

Belle looked at her for a while but then started walking around. She looked at the bookcase that barely held any books. There was one on biotic fields, some catalogue on amps and other biotic enhancements and then some more boxes with thermal clips and one box with bullets but no gun or pistol in sight. Belle went and looked out the window. She had never been before but she had only heard good things about the university and she would probably have applied if they had any form of nursing or medical program, but they didn't. They were famous for mathematics, science and the liberal arts.

She decided that she couldn't just sit still, restless like she was and she impatiently took the book about biotic fields down and started reading it. She had been reading a while when she heard Jack laughing in the background and looked up from her place on the bed.

"Gosh, little girl you must be bored to read that boring ass book. I don't even like it and I fucking teach its contents!"

Belle put it down.

"There is a library right?" She asked eagerly, "I miss reading…" Jack nodded.

"Sure," she said, "but I think we will have to ask my students, it's not a place I usually spend my nights you know?" Jack had loved the tone in her own voice until she saw the smile disappear from Belle's face at the thought of Jack's nightly activities. _Fuck, dammit, screw this, not ready for this talk, _Jack thought in panic.

"Come on," she said instead, "let's go and find the boss and afterwards I'll show you around the facilities and the kitchen and even the library if we must."

"Wait," Belle said as Jack was putting on her regular commando boots, "I'm not wearing a bra and I'm not leaving your room like this. Do you have a proper shirt or something I can put on top of this? I don't have your _charming_ personality to get me a job, I want to look proper." The last sentences were said with a teasing smile but affection was clear in her warm voice.

"Screw you," Jack said softly but didn't mean it. She went to her dresser and took out her one and only blouse, a black thing that she had received as a present from one of her students but never wore. Belle took it gladly and rubbed the fancy fabric between her fingers approvingly.

"Jack, this is lovely," she said and put it on, "but it should be worn with a colorful skirt, or perhaps over some dress." Belle had lost herself in fashion thoughts and Jack chuckled at the girl's enthusiastic face.

…

The principal had actually been happy to offer Belle a job. It wasn't much, a few lectures on element zero and the genetic effects from prolonged exposure. It wasn't a lot but it gave Belle a few months to figure out what to do. Belle was happy about a few months stable employment but the funniest part of the interview had been when Jack was going to introduce her and faultily had introduced her as 'Isabelle Chakwas' when Belle's name was Isabella with an a, it didn't really matter but Belle thought it was cute that the biotic wanted to introduce her using her full name.

Now Belle and Jack were walking around the campus, Jack occasionally pointing at some building. Belle was enjoying the synthetic park, appreciating the feel of fake sunlight on her face.

"Izzy!" A sudden voice made the women look up, "Belle! Hey sis, is that you?" A young boy, maybe 16 or 17 was walking towards them. He had black hair and his eyes were similar to that of Belle's older sister Beatrice but unlike her the boy's eyes didn't carry a cruel spark. Instead his eyes lit up when he looked at Belle and when he reached her he hugged her violently.

Jack looked as Belle's face lit up as well and she hugged him back. When she pulled back she said with a smile.

"Patchouli! What are you doing here?"

"That's what happens when you don't stay in touch," Patchouli said and playfully punched Belle's arm, "I got accepted to Grissom's program for the liberal arts; with a full scholarship as well!" The boy looked mightily pleased with himself. Jack had by now recognized the boy from the photo of Belle's family that had stood on top of Belle's dresser in the Normandy.

"What have you done with your hair?" Patchouli was still talking, "Did Bea put you up to this? Mum is going to freak, you know how she likes your hair… and… wait, hang on. Izzy, what are you doing here?"

_Izzy? _Jack thought, _that is new. _

Belle smiled at her little brother.

"My friend Jack here, "she said and made a gesture towards the woman next to her, "she has been nice enough to let me stay with her for a few months and I will be giving a few lectures on element zero and its genetic effects."

Patchouli looked to be in deep thought for a moment. As much as Belle seemed to care for her little brother Jack felt instant distain for the boy. He seemed stupid and perhaps a little spoiled; clearly sheltered from the horrible events that happened in the house that he had grown up in.

"Hey," he said and grabbed Belle's hand, "next week mom and dad are coming to visit, then you can meet them to!"

For a second panic flashed in Belle's eyes but then she regained her composure and she smiled at her little brother.

"Sure," she smiled but Jack could see that it was quivering slightly, "if I'm still here I will meet them."

Patchouli's friends started yelling for him to return, something about them having class soon.

"Izzy," he said, "I have to go, I have class but we will see each other soon right?"

Belle nodded and her brother ran back to them. She could feel Jack's eyes burning in her back. She turned around.

"That's my brother," she said, "Patchouli Chakwas… as you might have noticed; he is not like the rest of them and he… doesn't know." Jack nodded.

"_Patchouli," _she said in a mocking tone, "what kind of screwed up name is that?"

Belle looked down and smiled a little. She giggled.

"I know!" she said, "our mom is a botanist… if she had gotten to decide Bea would have been called Rosemary and my name would have been Lavender or something just as ridiculous."

Jack shook her head.

"I like Belle," she said and nudged the girl's shoulder, "come on; I'll show you the cooking facility closest to us."

…

Back in Jack's room; Jack had grudgingly sat down to continue grading the papers. Belle had borrowed some books at the library and had spread them out. Then the women sat in silence, each focusing on their assignment. Belle was feeling worried about actually giving lectures and she felt sad that there would be no need for her more practical medical skills.

Eventually Belle had to break the silence… there were thoughts that she had to put into words. Answers she had to know.

"Is _Jane _your girlfriend?" Jack looked up at her question, bewildered.

"Fuck no!" she replied fiercely, "I don't do girlfriends." Then when she saw Belle's expression she quickly added, "I haven't until now, at least. Seriously Belle, I was trying to forget you. Shit, I don't want to have fucked up by acting in a way that is natural to me."

She lifted her gaze but Belle wasn't looking. She was staring on the floor. Then she asked the question Jack had been dreading and trying to avoid.

"Are you going to continue sleeping with other people?" Belle's voice was soft, shy sounding. She didn't know what answer that the biotic was going to give her.

Jack took a long breath.

"Maybe," Jack didn't like the gasp that escaped from Belle, "fuck Belle, I can't make you any promise. I wish I could be what you want me to be but I can't. I don't know what will happen tomorrow, or even later today. I don't plan… I don't…" She was silenced by a sudden press of Belle's lips on her own. Belle retracted quite quickly, the kiss had only been a peck but Jack felt her cheeks grow warm, a very unusual feeling for the former convict.

"There," Belle said with all the joy she could muster, "stop talking." She was smiling but inside her chest she was shaking. _What had she expected? _Belle again had to remind herself who Jack actually was. She went back to the bed and picked up one of the books and resumed her reading.

"Sorry," Jack whispered but so low that Belle didn't hear. She turned back to her papers and kept grading.


	7. Chapter 7 - A brand new day

**Chapter 7 – Brand new day**

A few hours later there was a soft knock on the door. Jack stood up and opened. Outside the door a blonde elegant woman was standing. Jack smiled and shook the woman's hand.

"Sanders!" she yelled happily, "good to fucking see you! Belle, this is Kahlee Sanders, if you ever have problems with your students she's the one to call…" Belle stood up and extended her hand to the woman, who shook it.

"Hey Jack," she said and turned to Belle, "and hello, you must be Isabella Chakwas? Oh Belle? Okay, I will remember that. I just wanted to make sure you were settling in fine. The principal and I have been looking into getting you some quarters that we have reserved for guest lectures but like this in the middle of term…"

Jack interrupted her surprising all three women, Jack included.

"No, that's alright Sanders, Belle can stay with me." Sanders smiled and gave a wink at Jack. They were clearly friends.

"Alright, well… good," she said, "I will let you continue then. But if you need me I will be in my office." And with that Kahlee left.

…

They resumed their work but then Belle started feeling hungry. They hadn't eaten since the citadel. At first she was able to ignore it but then her stomach started growling. At the sound Jack looked up, wondering what it was, when it dawned on her she started laughing.

"Gosh, little girl," she said, "sorry, I forgot about food!" She continued laughing.

"Don't you get hungry?" Belle asked, feeling curious.

Jack shook her head but then nodded.

"Sure I do, but not in the same way as most people do. I have years of only eating every few days. I usually don't feel anything until I'm on the brink of death." The last words where said with the hint of smile, the word death usually had that effect on her; it was not for nothing she had the letter inked on the knuckles of her right hand.

"You know what," she continued, "I showed you the communal kitchen before, one floor down. Why don't you go and start preparing something, they have lots of earth food. I only have two papers left and if I could be finished with them it would make me fucking happy. And if any student bothers you tell them the psychotic biotic will have their heads if they don't leave you alone."

"The psychotic biotic?" Belle had to ask.

"Yeah," Jack said with a big smile, "it's what they call me. I love it, it fucking suits me!"

…

Belle couldn't help but feel relieved when she saw that the kitchen was empty, she did not feel ready to suddenly face a bunch of hormonal teenage biotics. The kitchen had a stove, oven, some countertops and a fridge. By the side where three empty tables with four chairs each.

The former nurse went up to the fridge and opened it. There were quite a few items such as cheese and butter, some different types of vegetables and some fish that Belle didn't recognize, it did however resemble salmon.

"Salmon it is," Belle said and removed the fish from its packaging. She located some rice and a pot and put some water to boil on the stove. She also found a cutting board and a knife. Started to prepare the fish and some salad. She opened the two top buttons on Jack's blouse. She felt sort of happy and she liked the idea of cooking for her.

The door opened behind her. Belle smiled thinking that it was Jack but she quickly heard that the steps did not belong to her friend.

She turned around. It was Jane, Belle recognized the woman that had laid a claim on Jack back on the citadel.

"Oh," Jane said, tilting her head upwards, "you are the girl who was with Jack." Belle hated the way Jane said Jack. But she did have a good upbringing; so she plastered a smile on her face and gave Jane her hand to shake it.

"Isabella Chakwas," she said, "nice to meet you." Her smile was fake, Belle felt it, but she couldn't help but feeling a great deal of disdain. Jack had kissed Jane, had shared her bed with her. Jane had felt Jack's skin, her touch. And for this Belle hated her. The women stared at each other, still shaking hands. Instinctively they both knew that they were rivals and neither of them wanted to be the one who broke the touch or looked away.

A fizzing sound made Belle look away. The pot with her rice was boiling and water was spilling over on the stove. She broke contact with Jane and walked over to her pot. It was hot. She tried to touch it but quickly retrieved her hand.

"Ouch!"

A sudden blue field of biotic energy came from over Belle's shoulder. It expertly lifted her pot up and took it off the hot plate. Belle spun around and saw that it was Jane who was helping her. _She is an ascension student, _Belle thought and felt strangely jealous. Maybe Jack preferred being with other biotics?

"Thanks," she muttered, not at all pleased that Jane had helped her with something. She was about to stir in the fish as well when she suddenly found herself dangling a few feet of the floor. She tried to turn around but felt herself unable to move a muscle. Her vision was covered in blue light and Belle gasped when she understood that she was being held in Jane's biotic field.

Jane spun her around and put the girl facing her. The other biotic's energy had a different colour than Jack's, it was darker, almost purple, whereas Jack's biotic energy was always light blue.

"Listen up, little girl," Jane said in a threatening voice, "whatever Jack says to you… she is mine. You can't just show up and think that you can take her away from me."

Belle tried to answer but felt her mouth was obstructed by the biotic field. Jane was clearly deranged and Belle hated that the other woman had called her 'little girl' just like Jack does. She tried to move, wave her arms, anything but couldn't. She hated being restrained and panic was rising in her chest. She could also hear the slight fizzing from her salmon and knew that she had to stir the fish. _If the food spoils she will pay, _Belle thought.

"What the hell?" Jack's sudden voice caught Jane's attention and she immediately dropped her biotic field making Belle hit the ground.

"Ouch," the girl whispered as her ankle hit the floor in an awkward position. She stayed sitting on the floor rubbing her hurt leg, while Jack went up to Jane and pushed the woman up against the wall.

"What the hell happened here?" She said again and Belle saw to her satisfaction a streak of uncertainty in Jane's eyes.

"I was just…" Jane started, her threatening, teasing tone gone from her voice.

"Oh you were just, "Jack said," listen to me, you little fuck-up, if I catch you using biotics against someone again I will fucking see to it that you get expelled. Got it, bitch?" Jane nodded, clearly shook up and left the room without as much as a glance at Belle's direction.

"Crazy bitch," Jack muttered and dropped down by Belle's side, "are you hurt? I should fucking kill her!"

"I'm fine," Belle said softly, "just help me up." Jack offered her hand and Belle stood up quickly, feeling relieved that the pain in her ankle had stopped.

She walked over and checked on the fish and rice. Jack came over and looked curiously at what she was cooking.

"It… looks nice," Jack said in an attempt at being nice, "I'm sorry about what Jane did… she is… very annoying."

"You slept with her," Belle said, accusation clear in her voice, "why did you sleep with her when there is clearly something wrong with her?"

Jack sighed.

"There is something wrong with me too, that didn't stop you." Jack wanted to defend herself.

"That's hardly the same… get me two plates."

Jack retrieved two plates from the cabinet and put them on the counter. The women remained silent as Belle put some of the fish, a couple scoops of rice and some salad on the plates. She then handed one of them to Jack.

"Most students are away on the weekends," Jack said as they took their place at one of the tables, "I'm surprised you ran into any."

…

The women had eaten mostly in silence, only filling it with small talk from time to time. Then they went back to Jack's room. Both of them wondering what kind of sleeping arrangement they were going to have for the night.

"My bed is big," Jack said, "there is room for both of us." Belle smiled at Jack's words.

"Your cot on the Normandy was smaller," she giggled carefully, "and we never slept badly there."

Soon they were standing in the bathroom, brushing their teeth. Belle almost giggled again, at the domestic scene they were in. She took up Jack's brush and pulled it through her hair… just another week and her hair would start fading into red again. Jack took the brush from her and brushed her own hair. Her hair was still shaved on the sides but when it was like this, not put up, it fell around her head and framed her face. _She is beautiful; _Belle thought and blushed when she noticed that she had been looking for several minutes. And Jack had noticed.

"Sorry," she said, "I'm staring."

Jack nodded and gave Belle an unreadable look. Then she left the bathroom. Went to her dresser and took some items out. When Belle came from the bathroom, she threw her a t-shirt and a pair of shorts.

"To sleep in," she explained, "and tomorrow we can go and see if we can find you some clothes of your own."

Belle started changing and looked fascinatedly as Jack removed her boots, her socks and her trousers, revealing her not-as-heavily tattooed legs. Then she crawled under the covers, much to Belle's dismay, who had unknowingly been hoping that Jack was going to sleep naked like she used to on Normandy.

She went to the other side and sat down carefully. Pulled the covers over her form. And laid down slowly, facing Jack… _Thud!_

"Ouch!" Belle sat up again and flipped her pillow over, revealing a big pistol that had been hidden there.

"Oh yeah," Jack said and retrieved it, putting it on the table next to her, "I forgot that was there."

Belle looked at her.

"What? Think of it as my security blanket," she continued in a teasing voice. And with that Jack reached up and turned the light off.

Belle lay silent for a while. She didn't want to sleep, worried that the nightmares were going to come back, like they always did at night.

It was like Jack read her thoughts.

"I'm here," she said all of a sudden, her voice traced with just a hint of sleepiness "even if… _Miranda _is not. I'm here, I won't let anything come and take you."

Belle smiled in the darkness. And when she slept, no nightmares came for her.

**…**

When Jack woke up she first couldn't name the feeling she was feeling. She sighed and smiled at the figure next to her. It was Belle. A tired, black-haired version, but it was Belle nevertheless. The biotic reached out with her hand a touched Belle's face. Traced her jaw, her eye-brows and then instinctively Jack leaned forward and kissed her. She wanted to be close to her again. Feel whole.

Belle made a happy sound and opened her mouth, making room for Jack's tongue. The biotic closed her eyes and their kiss deepened. A hand came up and placed itself on the backside of Jack's neck, holding her in place somewhat possessively.

A sudden need for air made the women move back but Jack stayed close; leaning her forehead against Belle's. The girl lifted the cover up a little and motioned to Jack to come closer until their bodies were pressed tight together. Belle had her arms around Jack's neck and Jack let her hands move over Belle's body; finally rediscovering it.

Belle pushed her back and placed herself on top of her, pushing a knee in between Jack's legs and blushing when she felt, through the underwear, how wet Jack was after just a little bit of kissing.

"Little girl," Jack moaned and without thinking reached down and tried to push Belle's knee closer to her center. She didn't know Jane had also called 'little girl', all Jack noticed was that her girl was suddenly not in the mood anymore.

The former nurse pulled back her knee and sat up. Pulled her knees to her head and threw her arms around them. Her very own defense position.

"Hey what happened?" Jack sat up as well, tried to put her hand on Belle's shoulder but the girl shrugged it away.

Inside her head, Belle was furious with herself. She wanted to turn her confusing feelings off and just accept whatever Jack could give her but the moment that Jane had popped in her head, all Belle could see was Jack with Jane. _Had Jack been gentle? Had she been rough? Had her fingers been to… places? _Belle wanted to wipe the images from her mind but couldn't; she was so very not used to feeling jealous. She looked up and tried to face Jack.

Jack was crying… not in a sobbing- girl- kind of way. More like her usual face but with tears going down in a steady flow and with an angry look in her eyes.

"It's me, isn't it?" she said, her voice angry, "I did it. I have screwed things up completely. I was stupid to think that you would make the same mistake again!" Her last words had basically been a scream and she kicked the covers angrily.

"Fuck!" She screamed and then a ball of biotic energy flew away and hit the desk, making all the papers fly.

Belle was quickly behind her, snaked her arms around the still crying biotic and put her lips to her shoulders. Trying to calm her.

"Jack, no," she said, trying to keep the panic out of her voice. The last thing Jack needed was thinking that Belle was scared of her, "you were not a mistake. Listen to me… I'm sorry… please. Calm down!"

Jack stopped pulsing blue and was now only crying; black drops of tear water occasionally dripping at her feet.

"Jack," Belle whispered, "please, you are not a mistake. You were never a mistake. Please Jack… _I love you."_

Belle felt the biotic twitch at her words, but she didn't care. Jack could freak out as much as she wanted at Belle's confession. It didn't change the truth in it. The girl braced herself, for more crying, for fighting, for anything.

"I..."

Jack looked down on her knuckles… she did not only have on her right hand, on her left she had five more letters. On the knuckles on her left hand she had _ D_, it was just _death _backwards but when Jack looked at it quickly she always thought it looked like her own misspelled version of _hated. _A reminder that everyone she had ever met hated her. That there was a reason she hated everyone.

She turned around, facing Belle who still had her arms around her waist in an awkward embrace from behind.

"It was the other people, wasn't it?" she asked and Belle nodded. Jack sighed; she had never known her behavior would bite her in the ass like this. She pulled her t-shirt to the side, exposing her naked shoulder.

"Look," she said and Belle leaned over, "do you recognize it?" Belle nodded, smiled and her cheeks turned redder. Jack continued.

"Do you remember what I said in Flux? After seeing the bite marks you had given me." Belle continued blushing at the memory, remising in the events that had taken place in the bar. But somehow she found her voice.

"You said that I had marked you as mine," she said shyly and Jack smiled; wiping her still wet cheeks with her arm.

"I made it permanent," Jack said, "just a few days after I had left the Normandy. I couldn't bear the thought that it would fade. It is one of those things I'm not allowed to forget. You, I mean, I'm not allowed to forget you."

Belle smiled, gave the tattoo a kiss and then stood up. She didn't dwell too much on the fact that Jack hadn't said anything back; the girl hadn't meant to say it in the first place. She didn't want to scare the unattainable biotic killer queen or make her uncomfortable, not after such an outburst of emotion.

She stood up, and gave Jack a smile that melted the biotic's usually cold heart.

"Come on," she said, her words light, "you promised to take me shopping for clothes and I know that your little biotic heart is going to beat with glee when you find out that we will be spending Miranda's credit." It was Miranda's money after all and Belle wanted Jack to smile. She was rewarded with a relieved smile from her friend.


	8. Chapter 8 -Finally reunited

**Warning: sort of smut, I guess**

**Chapter 8 – Finally reunited**

It was a few uneventful days later. Jack had finished her classes early and returned to the communal kitchen, hoping to cook a meal for her girl. They still hadn't been together but they had talked a lot and without saying anything explicitly, both women knew that it was just a matter of time.

Belle had promised herself, and Jack, that she was going to forget about the other people. If she ran into Jane she was supposed to just ignore her. Only Belle meant something.

Today was an important day. Belle had had her first set of lectures, which was in itself a big thing. The threat of war with the reapers had reached Grissom and it mildly concerned Jack. For the people she cared about she wanted the world to be a calm, beautiful place. Perhaps with her and Belle having a home somewhere… Jack felt that she was getting ahead of herself. She didn't want to worry; she wanted to savor the day. She hummed a happy tune and took another sip from the wine bottle she had used in her risotto. She was already getting slightly drunk but didn't mind. She knew that Belle would accept her, drunk or sober, and today Jack wanted to be drunk; otherwise she would not dare to make advances on Belle later.

_I'm making risotto, _Jack laughed at her own ability; she had asked Kahlee Sanders for several tips.

She twirled around the kitchen, taking another sip of the wine and pouring some more into the boiling pot. Before she knew it she was singing, a song that she had picked up a long time ago and for some reason thought suited the moment. She sang and started almost skipping around in the kitchen.

Suddenly a very happy Belle was standing in the door to the kitchen. Jack stopped jumping and smiled sheepishly at her girl.

"Hey," she said, "I'm in a good mood, so I'm celebrating." Belle stepped in to the kitchen, wrinkled her nose but quickly smiled.

"You cooked?" Belle was surprised and very touched. However, she did not want to touch the bubbly mess that was boiling in Jack's pot.

Jack however, who could barely tell rotten fish from steak, didn't notice how unappetizing her risotto was smelling and she smiled. Belle didn't want to eat and rummaged her head, trying to think of a way that she wouldn't have to eat it. _Of course!_

"Jack," she purred, trying to make her voice inviting, "I really appreciate this but… the lesson… I'm tired… well… I'm not hungry."

Jack didn't even get disappointed. She had only cooked for Belle's benefit. She pulled the pot off the hot plate and took a step towards her girl. Belle had finally got some clothes that was more her style and she was wearing a plain dark blue dress that managed to be proper yet sexy in the same time. For her lesson her hair had been up, but she had pulled the band off and her lovely curls where now framing her face. _She is fucking beautiful, _Jack thought but then her thoughts became a blur as Belle stepped closer.

Belle leaned in and gave Jack a chaste kiss on the cheek and then, much to Jack's dismay; turned around and left the kitchen. Jack looked confused for a few minutes but then grabbed her wine bottle, took another sip and walked after her girl.

…

Jack stepped into her room, slowly, not knowing what to expect. Belle was standing in the bathroom, brushing her hair. The girl had decided that this was the day that she was going to seduce Jack. She had wanted to get naked, put herself in a sexy position. But she had come into the room and realized it wasn't who she was. She couldn't. She felt Jack's eyes burn in her back.

She turned around, suddenly feeling a bit flustered. Jack was so close.

"We don't have to do anything," Jack could see how insecure Belle felt but the former nurse shook her head.

"Jack," she said and looked straight into Jack's eyes, "I don't think I could bare another day of us sharing bed but me not getting to touch you."

"Mmm," Jack couldn't answer anything else. She went up to Belle and helped the girl off with her jacket. Took her own jacket off as well. Belle had thought that it would have been wilder, more desperate but instead, they were careful. They went and stood by the bed. Shedding each other's clothes, kissing skin as it became revealed. Soon they were standing next to each other, completely naked. Jack motioned for Belle to turn around; she wanted to take a closer look at the tree on Belle's back.

After tracing it with her fingers Belle suddenly spun around, not managing to stand another second. She threw her arms around Jack's waist and pulled her close. And suddenly they were there, naked, breast against breast, stomach against stomach, pubic bone against pubic bone, hip against hip, thigh against thigh, scar against tattoo. _Closeness, finally._

"Come," Jack said; her voice husky. She sat on the bed, pulling Belle onto her lap. Kissing her shoulder and tracing her fingers on the scar on Belle's arm. Finding a few new bruises, not less than a week old.

"It was a krogan," Belle said dreamily, "don't worry, Miranda gave him a lesson." Jack tried to swallow but found her mouth and throat to be dry. She wished that she would have been the one to protect her girl, be her hero… Once again Jack regretted leaving.

"I should have fucking been there," she tried but was put to silence by Belle's lips.

"You are here now," Belle said, "that is what matters." Belle was occupied with Jack's body. Her strong arms, how her tattoos continued even down on her legs… her lips. Belle closed her eyes and let herself fall into Jack's arms knowing that her biotic would catch her. They fell back on the bed, kissing. The biotic was unsure of what to do, it was never like this. Jack knew how to fuck… not how to… whatever they were doing. But she refused to be scared away, this meant too much to her.

Belle's hand was on her chest, kneading and feeling. Jack closed her eyes, leaning her forehead on Belle's shoulder. She didn't move, letting Belle have her way with her.

"Jack," Belle mumbled, "can I…" she couldn't finish the question but Jack knew what she wanted. She took Belle's hand and guided her.

"Please," she said softly, in a voice not her own, and almost cried out when Belle's careful hand was there. Belle stroked against her and then softly forced one finger in; still a little bit unsure of herself but quickly gained confidence when Jack's breathing changed, becoming more strained. She added more fingers.

"Fuck Belle," Jack panted, "I want you so much… harder…" The biotic put her hand down as well and pressed Belle's fingers deeper into her. Started rocking against her hand. Then she moved her own hand and put it on Belle's center instead, finding the girl wet as well.

"Is that for me?" Jack asked, feeling so fucking happy and even more when Belle nodded, not finding any words. Not minding the awkward position and how their muscles started aching, Jack pushed her fingers into her girl.

The women continued their movements. Belle was moaning Jack's name and making cute little sounds that made Jack proud. She still couldn't believe how lucky she was that Belle wanted anything to do with her at all.

"I will not share you with anyone," Belle suddenly said, she was barely lucid but had to get the words out, "oh don't stop!"

Jack put more effort into her movements, bit into Belle's shoulder and neck, hearing Belle gasp and then uttered the words that she knew Belle needed to hear.

"No, you don't have to. Belle, I'm yours, only yours."

Hearing Jack, the unattainable biotic, her killer, utter those words were enough to send Belle over the edge. She tensed up and threw one leg around Jack's waist, pulling her closer.

Feeling Belle tense up and quiver around Jack's fingers made Jack closer to the edge as well; and when Belle suddenly, out of nowhere, whispered: "I'm yours too," everything went blue behind Jack's eyelids.


	9. Chapter 9 - On the subject of hair color

**Chapter 9 – On the subject of hair color**

The next morning neither of the women wanted to get up. They were finally reunited, had fallen asleep in each other's' arms and then when they had woken up at around three o'clock standard time they had found each other again. Belle's sweet kisses almost drove Jack back to the brink of insanity to make her saner in the next second and Jack's touch made Belle feel better, like the rest of the world didn't matter. They made each other feel like they were something other than two broken human beings.

Now they were talking, occasionally retelling things that had happened to them during the past nine months or making jokes about the old Normandy crew.

"I just don't get it," Belle said, "asaris are so different! And poor Shepard! Can you imagine being in a relationship with one, knowing that they will live several hundred years after you die…and any kids you have, they are going to be different and you will not even get to see them grow up!"

Jack shrugged.

"Supposedly they are good in bed," she said but received a playful slap on the arm from Belle.

"Ugh," the girl continued, "they are just too different for me. Why would they want to be in a relationship with a human anyway? It's like they are more evolved, we must seem so fickle to them. So fleeting. And while on that subject… if you take into account asari aging and maturity, isn't Liara T'soni practically _underage_? "

Jack wanted to change subject, asaris always made her uncomfortable, it had to do with the thing that they were basically mind readers. Jack didn't want anyone to fuck around in her mind.

"So," she said, waking Belle up from her asari ramblings, "is there anything else in the galaxy that puzzles the little mind of yours?"

"Kahlee Sanders," Belle said after a moments of thinking.

"Kahlee?" Jack said surprised, "whatever for?" She pulled Belle closer and planted a kiss on the top of her head.

"Her hair," Belle said, "it's blonde. It looks natural too. If you haven't notice most people have either black or brown hair. That's because other hair colors are caused by recessive genes." After seeing Jack's puzzled look," that basically means it's less likely to happen and… what?" Jack was looking at her, a thought forming in her head.

"You have red hair," she said.

"I know," Belle said, a little impatient that she hadn't got to finish her lesson on genes but then the statement sank in, "_I know…_wait! The doctor has grey hair, but the few strands that are still in her original color are black… so… so that means…"

"That your father had red hair," Jack finished her sentence, quite proud of herself for realizing something that her girl, the university graduate, hadn't thought of.

Belle sat up abruptly, turned to her lover.

"I know its early honey, but would you mind escorting me to the library?" Jack didn't want to leave her comfortable place on the bed but considered it. _It is only because she called me honey, _she thought grudgingly.

"'kay, but why?"

Belle had already gotten up and was now getting ready with an impatient speed. Now when she had a plan, and felt her father's identity within her grasp she wanted to go right away.

"There are databases. I can log into the hospital systems with my old login and search among the patients and see who had red hair." Jack stood up as well and slowed Belle down by hugging her.

"Okay, we will go," she said, "just don't be too disappointed if you don't find anything."

…

"There," Belle said triumphant, "my conception date should be around November 2161, now if I check all the patients my mom had that year… and check photos… then," her fingers went over the buttons, desperately searching. Jack was sitting next to her, barely following, "then we get… okay, here, he is red haired… Oooh! It could be him, it must be him! His name is... _What?"_ Belle's movement stopped and her hands fell to the lap; staring at the name and man on the screen. Jack got curious now and leaned forward, reading the name. When she read it, she reached over and hugged Belle's hand with her own.

_I don't believe in coincidences, _Jack thought and read the name again, _life is too fucking weird_. Trying to think of a way that this could even be possibly true. Belle was still not saying anything. They were both staring at the screen.

Because there, black on white, it said _Patient number 13911 Commander David Shepard_.


	10. Chapter 10 - A Shepard or a Chakwas

**Plot-twist continues! Oh and I hope everyone still likes it :)**

* * *

**Chapter 10 – A Shepard or a Chakwas**

"Belle?" Jack tried as her girl had still not said anything. The girl turned to her, hesitated.

"Is that... Shepard's dad?" Belle had to ask but of course Jack didn't know.

"Wait," Belle continued, "you are alliance now, right? Do you have a login to the system? You could check his military profile, check for family relations."

Jack nodded and took Belle's place by the screen. Typed her details in and searched for Commander David Shepard.

"It is," she said, "and he was killed in service on the 16th of January 2162. Leaving a widow, Hannah Shepard and one child, Shay Shepard… hey, have you seen all the commemorations of Shepard's page? Shit, she really is queen of the girl scouts!" But Jack turned quiet when she saw Belle's face.

"How are you feeling?" she asked more softly. Belle sighed.

"I want to call Chakwas… I need to ask her something I should have asked earlier…"

…

"Belle, it is so nice to hear from you!" Chakwas said, happy but surprised to receive a call from her daughter, "but as nice as it is I am quite busy at the moment…oh hello Jack, I didn't know you were there as well… hang on, where are you calling from?"

Belle knew that her mother was pressed for time and didn't waste any. They were sitting by the desk in Jack's room.

"I'm at Grissom academy, temporary teaching gig. I won't waste your time, so… I'm sorry for being blunt but who is my father? I think I deserve to know."

Chakwas dropped quiet… when she hadn't said anything for a while Belle spoke up.

"Mom?" Her question was quiet, "I already think I know, I just want to make sure. It is David Shepard, isn't it?"

Chakwas voice returned.

"It wasn't meant to be," she said, her voice low, "he had a wife; and a daughter. I tried to resist but he pulled me in, my first and only love… He died and I died with him. I decided to go to his funeral and she was there. His… _wife, _Hannah Shepard. She was there, Belle, and she was beautiful and _young. _And there I was, stricken with grief, tired, old and pregnant with his baby. His daughter was there, the crying eight-year-old little girl that would grow up to be everyone's commander Shepard. I have tried Belle, I tried to cover you up, forget you and remove my misstep. I followed the daughter; throughout her career I have tried to protect her. But I failed at that to, and she died. This is when I looked you up and you were grown. 18 years old and so very lost, brilliant, brave, so like him and so very much like your big sister. I talked with your mother; she told me how my brother had treated you. I still didn't dare to tell you anything. They brought her back and I found my place at the Normandy, still serving her and through that still serving him. I don't know why I wanted you there, I wanted to tell you. You were a genetics major, I think I thought you would figure it out on your own. Oh Belle, I am so very sorry. For everything."

With that the usually calm, composed doctor Chakwas broke into tears. She had given more information that Belle could have ever hoped for. Belle licked her lips, her mouth dry. She didn't like being referred to as a mistake but she felt some pieces falling into place. Shards of herself that she hadn't known were missing.

Jack moved uncomfortably next to her, wishing she wasn't there. Great emotional confessions weren't really her thing. The biotic would have left if it hadn't been for Belle's strained grip on her leg keeping her there.

Chakwas was still crying.

"Oh…" she said, her voice filled with sadness, "They are calling me, I have to go now. But we will talk soon, I promise my darling."

"Okay mum," Belle said and the women said good bye.

"How are you feeling?" Jack asked for the second time that day. It was almost time for her morning classes and she wanted to make sure Belle was fine before she left.

Belle nodded.

"I am, and don't worry I know you have class. Just get ready. I will be here, no classes today." Jack leaned over and kissed her with all gentleness she had. Then she got up and got ready.

…

Belle was walking outside, alone. She really appreciated the fake parks. She sat down on a bench and tilted her head towards the fake sunlight, wondering if it would create more freckles like normal sunlight did.

"Izzy!" A shout made her look up. The girl smiled and lifted her hand to wave at Patchouli who was running towards her. Her smile disappeared when she saw the two figures walking slowly behind her brother. It was the stern man she had been raised to call father, and the near shell of an abused woman who she affectionately called mother from time to time. Belle felt panic rising, she wanted to run away. She hadn't seen them for the past four years apart from about three phone calls from her mother. Nothing at all since she had left the Normandy. She had almost forgotten they existed and now they were here. Threatening her calm existence. She stood up, heart pounding in her chest, looking around for a way to escape. Patchouli reached her and gave her a hug. Said something but Belle couldn't hear it, she couldn't listen for the pounding of blood in her ears. Her father was closer, his dark blue eyes reaching her.

Belle felt that she wanted to run away. Suddenly she saw Prangley, one of Jack's students walking nearby.

"Prangley," she called out, feeling awkward as she had never talked with him before this, "please, can you get Professor Jack… and hurry!" Belle didn't even know why she asked but felt relief wash over her in waves as Prangley started running to wherever Jack was. Belle just knew that she couldn't face her father on her own. She needed Jack there, for protection, mental or physical. Anything. Belle felt nauseous. And she knew that if her parents told her to go with them , she would. On her own, Belle didn't have any real strength – not in a situation like this… but then she remembered. She didn't have to be Rusty Chakwas… she wasn't just a Chakwas; she was a Shepard to. Her father had been a brave man and her half-sister was even braver. Belle evoked strength that she didn't know that she had and nodded to her parents. She went cold, pushing all emotion back.

"Mother," she said, "and father. How nice to see you both, it has been a while."

"Oh Rusty," her mom said and awkwardly hugged her, "don't sound so cold! And it has been longer than _a while." _ Her father made a movement to hug her but Belle quickly stepped to the side. Even if she had strength to act civil he would not get to touch her.

Out of the corner of her eye she saw Jack coming, walking fast with a curious Prangley after her. When seeing Belle and the people next to her. Jack stopped, frozen, her eyes squinting, immediately understanding who the two new figures where. _Oh boy, _Belle thought as Jack started walking again and got closer.

"Mother, father," Belle said and took Jack's hand in hers, she wanted to shove something in her face, "this is Jack, my… girlfriend." Belle said a small prayer that Jack wouldn't freak out too much over her choice of words. It was her way of saying; _look, someone loves me and actually wants me. _She wanted to prove that to her parents, that even though they had tried to break her she was still standing. To her relief Jack didn't make any motion to disagree with her words, instead she just stood still, hand in hand with Belle and looked at Arthur Chakwas.

In reality Jack was almost shaking with anger and she was using every ounce of self-control that she had to not let her biotics flare up and kill the two people there. She turned her killer-mode on and while Belle was talking to them, Jack was not listening. Instead she was imagining all the delicious ways that she could kill them. She started wishing that she had her gun; unfortunately it was still resting on the table by her bed.

"It is nice to meet you… Jack," Jack looked up; two scared eyes locked into hers. A careful smile. _She is trying to be nice, _the biotic thought, _oh this is just too fucking much!_ Jack wanted to feel nothing but disdain for the woman, blaming her as much as the man for Belle's childhood. The angry woman opened her mouth, ready to snap, yell a profanity, get Belle out of there but then she saw the pleading eyes of Mary Chakwas. It was the eyes of a beaten woman, a defeated woman. Jack knew, instinctively, that this was a woman that couldn't have prevented anything. She closed her mouth again and gave a quick look to Belle. _Please Jack, _Jack could almost hear Belle's voice in her head. _Fine!_

"Um… yeah… likewise," Jack was trying… but she knew that if the man tried to talk with her she would not be able to keep her calm.

"Mum," Belle was using a voice that the biotic didn't recognize, "can we talk? Somewhere private?" But to her distress he father walked up and put a hand on her mother's arm.

"Let's go Mary," the man said, his voice cold and unreadable, "Rusty wants to tell us something. We won't say no."

Jack looked at her girl wondering if she should step in, but the former nurse had a determined look on her face.

"No," she said, her voice back to normal, "you are not coming. Mom is." Arthur's hold on his wife's arm got stronger and even though Mary's mouth was still smiling her eyes look terrified.

Patchouli that had just been standing looking could no longer ignore the tension in the air and walked in between his parents and Belle.

"What is wrong with everyone?" he said in his baby voice, "Mommy, dad, I thought you would be happy to see Rusty?"

"Her name is Belle," Jack's angry voice made everyone look up. Arthur looked angry, Patchouli and Belle confused, Mary defeated.

"And now, mr and mrs Chakwas," Jack continued, "you can get the fuck off my campus, and if you ever come near my girlfriend again I will kill you. I am a former convict, in for murder, piracy, slavery and more unmentionable things. I have killed friends; I have killed people who looked to me for protection. I will not hesitate to kill you. And this threat you will take serious."

Arthur let go of his wife and took a step towards Jack, clearly eyeing her up. Jack understood.

"Oh you don't want to test me old man," she continued, "I might be small but I'm a psychotic bitch. Trust me. You don't want me angry."

Arthur nodded and turned around, grabbed Patchouli with one hand, Mary in the other and started walking the other way around. Jack looked at Belle but found her girl not as relieved as she had thought. Instead Belle looked like there was something missing.

"Hang on!" She yelled, "mom, wait!"

"What the-" Jack said to herself as Belle ran up to her parents, pushed her dad away, threw her arms around her mother; looked like she was whispering something. Then she pulled away and ran back; her mother looking after her before her husband made her continue walking. It was as if Mary knew that she would never see her daughter again.

"Um… what just happened?" The question made Jack remember that Prangley was still there; apparently he had seen the entire thing.

"Nothing Prangley," Jack said in her teacher's voice, "teachers have lives you know." She thought for a moment, and smiled a little bit as she saw her girl running back towards her.

"And some teachers," she continued, not thinking about what she was saying, "are lucky enough to get the best fucking girl in the galaxy…" she trailed off as Belle reached her.


	11. Chapter 11 - Attacked

**Chapter 11 – Attacked**

They were back in Jack's room and the biotic had just asked the girl why she had ran to her mom.

"I don't know," Belle answered, "but I figured that after your threat I will never see them again and I… I just wanted to tell her that I know, that I forgive her and that I love her. She is my _mom. _She held me when I was little, she taught me to swim, read and write. She wiped the blood off my torso after that man had beaten me. She gave me all she could; she is still an abused woman. I also told her that I would take care of her if she ever left him."

Jack nodded and went to her pistol, did her usual routine of checking if it had bullets. Put the safety off and then back on.

"What are you doing?" Belle asked, eyeing her carefully.

"Old habit," the teacher replied, "sometimes I get this feeling that I should check my gun. And I follow my instincts."

The biotic continued tinkering with her gun until two freckly arms went around her waist and held her close. That is when Jack noticed that her girl was shaking, not violently, just subtle quivering and holding on for support. Jack still couldn't get used to the feeling that someone was relying on her for anything, and here was Belle who had even said that she loved Jack. She was… in love. With Jack. _And they say I'm crazy, _Jack thought, almost amused.

She turned around and hugged Belle back.

"I wish you wouldn't have done that," Belle said muffled into the jacket on Jack's shoulder, "I could have taken care of it myself… but thank you"_… for calling me your girlfriend _Belle continued in her head but didn't say it out loud. There were some things that she was certain about concerning her biotic and knowing that she had to take things slow was one of them.

"It was nothing," Jack said and broke the hug, "but I'm serious. If I see _him _again, I will kill him. I will do it. You need to know that Belle, you need to know that as much as I manage to hold back around you, I _am _a killer. I _am _dangerous. I don't want you to… you know… grow attached or something and then get scared when you finally see who I am."

Belle didn't seem impressed and Jack was not satisfied. _The girl didn't get it. _

_She said she loved me, _Jack thought; _let's see if she still loves me after I tell her some things I have done._

"Sit down," she said but shook her head as Belle aimed at sitting next to Jack on the bed, "no, sit there, on the chair."

Belle raised one eyebrow but then did as Jack requested.

"The last time I was in a relationship it was with two people. I was young, younger than you are now and I met this girl. Her name was Manara, she was daring, almost as cocky as I am and fucking fun as hell. We joined up and everything was great until her boyfriend also joined us. And hey, I'm an open person, there is room enough for everyone that wants to join… however, when we had done our biggest heist, they helped themselves to my share. So I killed them, and not neatly either. First I made her watch as I crushed him with biotics and then I went for her… I liked her and it still felt so good to do it."

Jack looked up and saw that her girl was looking at the floor.

"Not enough? Fine," she continued, talking faster, almost panicking, "there is more. I have looked at the eyes of crying children and sold them as slaves. I have looked into the eyes of men and women as I watch life slowly drain from them. And I have loved every fucking moment of it. Even as I am here with you, part of me longs for killing, and this will never change. And because of the conditioning, sometimes when we are _together, _I get the same feelings that I do when fighting. " Jack sighed. She had said and done her part. Now it was up to Belle what she wanted to do with the information.

The girl didn't really know what to think. There were too many things that had happened today. She had found out that Shepard was her half-sister, she had run into her parents and now Jack was telling her terrible things. Belle knew that Jack was broken, that she had done unspeakable things, that she still loved killing. More than she would ever love anything else, or anyone else.

The rational side of Belle knew that this was doomed, even dangerous. But when she lifted her gaze and looked at her biotic all those feelings ran off her. Her heart ached for the woman in front of her. Jack was everything and as long as Jack didn't push her away, Belle was not going anywhere.

She stood up and slowly walked over to Jack who was sitting at the end of the bed, absentmindedly looking at her windows. Looking like she was pretending to be somewhere else.

"Idiot," she said and Jack looked at her with a confusing look in her eyes, "don't you remember that you almost hurt me once? You obstructed my oxygen until I passed out."

Jack looked away again but Belle reached out and gripped her chin, making her look at her again.

"That is the only time you have scared me. And even now, after you have told me those things, I am not scared. I am here, with you and I feel safe. Those nine months we spent apart I was lost. I don't ever want to feel that way again. I'm not asking for anything…" then she flashed a quick smile, "apart from you allowing me to continue to sleep in your bed of course. But otherwise I just want to be here, next to you and that is all I'm asking."

When Belle saw that Jack seemed even more uncomfortable now she reached out and took her hand; kissed it. Saw the letters _D E A T__ H_, kissed each letter and then took up her other hand, kissed the letters on the other hand to.

Jack was still not moving.

Belle moved up and started kissing her neck, moved down and kissed the tattooed bite marks on Jack's shoulder. The biotic was still not moving. Belle bit down on the soft flesh on Jack's shoulder, wanting to create some kind of reaction. Jack twitched a little and brought up her hand to Belle's neck, pushed her closer.

"Belle," she said barely audible, "make me forget." Jack wanted to loose herself. At least for a few moments she wanted to loose herself in Belle's welcoming arms. Only Belle would accept her as she was and that was something even a cold-blooded killer needed.

_It feels like I trust her, _Jack thought. Belle had seen so many bad sides of Jack, she had even been on the receiving end of Jack's violence and she was still there, kissing her, touching her. _Loving her? _Jack couldn't name the emotion. Instead she closed her eyes and reciprocated their deepening kiss. It was as if she was two people, one of them a psychotic killer, the other a woman who just wanted to be loved and accepted like everyone else.

…

There was running in the hallway and people shouting. Jack woke up. Turned to the sleeping girl by her side.

"Belle," she said in a serious voice, "something is up. Come on. I have to protect my students."

…

There were people everywhere. Students and teachers. They were not up for fight; most of them didn't know what the hell it was that was going on. It was night time, people had been sleeping. Teenagers had been sleeping soundly in their beds. Some of those teenagers were now dead. Shot.

Jack ran, trying to gather her students but always looking back to make sure that Belle was still behind her. _Prangley, Tyler, Rodriguez, Xavier, Oden, Silverhall, Smart, Chauncer and Thrice_. Jack started to feel safer when she had all her students with her.

Suddenly one name ran across campus, the information spreading like fire. Now, with her people safe next to her, Jack started feeling the usual euphoria spreading through her body. She would get to fight, she would get to kill, and she would enjoy every minute of it.

The campus had been attacked by Cerberus and Jack was going to kill them all.


	12. Chapter 12 - Shepard

**Chapter 12 – Shepard**

Commander Shay Shepard woke up in the XO-quarters of the Normandy. She reached up, rubbed her green eyes trying to remember where she was. Then she looked next to her and was met with the stunning vision of her blue girlfriend. She still smiled at the confident way Liara had laid claim on the second nicest quarters on the ship, like she belonged there; which she totally did.

Shepard smiled and reached for her, pulling her closer. War aside, stress aside, nightmares aside, she couldn't help but feel happy every time she woke up next to the love of her life.

Liara purred in her sleep when the commander got closer and wrapped herself around the sleeping asari.

"Morning," she whispered and returned Shepard's kiss.

…

After quickly brushing her red hair and getting dressed, Shepard went to the bridge. There had been a distress call from Grissom Academy. _Fucking Cerberus, _Shepard thought, _attacking kids now?_

"God morning Commander," the happy voice of Samantha Traynor caught Shepards attention and the commander answered her with a sheepish smile. It was very clear that Traynor had feeling for her, feelings that were not reciprocated and to tell the truth, mainly made Shepard uncomfortable.

"Morning Traynor," she replied, "have we set course for Grissom?" The specialist nodded and felt disappointed when she realized that the commander was coming from the quarters of that asari, rather than her own room. The commander only had one love, and it was not Specialist Samantha Traynor.

…

Back at Grissom Jack, Belle and the students had retreated to a secluded part of the campus. They tried to keep their ground and Jack felt herself feeling rather proud of her students. They were kids and not killers but they were doing well considering everything.

She looked back, suddenly Rodriguez and Chauncer caught her eye; they were pressed against the wall but before she could move she noticed that she would not get there in time_. _But the professor needn't worry. Before she could react her girlfriend had moved in, pulled out one of her blue orbs, pressed a button on the side and threw it at the student's adversary.

The blue ball exploded in a biotic blast and pushed the Cerberus soldier back.

"Come on," Belle yelled at the teenagers and made a motion at them.

_Damn! _Jack thought but didn't have time to be further impressed because now more soldiers were arriving. She felt worry somewhere in the back of her head, knowing that she, Belle and her students couldn't kill them all.

A door opened suddenly to Jack's left. To her big surprise her former commander, the shadow broker and Garrus stepped out of it.

"Shepard?" she said surprised but also felt relieved.

"Get up everyone, this is out of your league," she said as more Cerberus fire power was arriving. She brought her students up some stairs, Belle running after them; the girl throwing one last biotic grenade and looking very satisfied when it hit its target.

Jack put up a biotic shield around her students and Belle and then they waited.

Shepard and her crew took out the Cerberus soldiers with an expert way that made Jack's students go 'ooh' and 'aah' from time to time. Jack who had seen it all before was not impressed but instead, in a smug tone, pointed out all the mistakes the fighting soldiers were making.

Belle was watching as well, but following only her sister with her eyes. _Is that my sister, _she wondered quietly to herself. _How can that be true? _But she also saw, with a smile, that Shepard had the exact same hair-color as herself. It was funny how she hadn't noticed that before.

When Shepard and the others had finally put bullets in the last standing Cerberus soldier, Jack took the biotic shield down and yelled.

"I knew that Kahlee was putting out an SOS, I had no idea the queen of the girl scouts would show!" Then she turned around and faced her students, winked quickly at Belle and then started talking.

"Alright," she said, addressing her students, "amp-check. Prangley those fields were weak. Cerberus isn't going to just lie down out of pity like that girl you took to prom."

Belle could hardly mask her giggle and was relieved when the rest of the class laughed as well. _This was how Jack teaches? _For some reason, she wasn't surprised.

"Grab juice and an energy bar," Jack continued, "we move in five. Belle, come here!"

Belle wondered what Jack wanted but walked up to her. Then to her mild alarm the biotic put an arm around her waist and then jumped from the small balcony they were standing. Her biotics made them not fall fast, but it was the first time Belle felt completely covered in Jack's biotics. It was prickling on her skin and she hated heights, but she trusted Jack. They landed safely and Jack let go off her. Then she walked over to Shepard and _punched _her.

Belle remained behind, her mouth opened. _What the hell is Jack doing? _She stood still for a while, unable to move and then walked forward to her lover, her friend, her sister and the asari stranger whom Belle assumed to be Liara T'soni. Shepard was still looking sort of furious.

"What was that for?" she growled and Jack put her hands on her hips.

"Dammit, how many times have I told you not to trust Cerberus," she said and Shepard put her hand to her cheek, rubbed it a little as a red patch was forming.

"You are not telling me anything I haven't told myself," she replied grudgingly.

The biotic took a threatening step forward, really wanting to put emphasis behind her words.

"Oh you feel bad?" she said in a mocking tone, "Well shit, I bet that's a real comfort to all the people Cerberus has killed."

Garrus then walked forward, wanting to stand next to Shepard.

"As charming as ever…" he said and smiled and Jack returned it, leaning back and abandoning her threatening stance.

"Good to see you again Garrus. Face still looks like shit."

Liara went up to stand on Shepard's other side.

"I'd forgotten how angry she was," she said, crossing her hands and eyeing Jack carefully. Her voice was soft but strong. Jack flashed a wicked smile and then opened her mouth.

"Whereas I hardly remember you at all, blue."

Belle was still standing behind the professor, not saying a word.

"Your real first name is Jennifer," the asari suddenly said, "I can find your real last name if you ask politely."

If it was a shock to Jack she didn't showed, she just chuckled, shock her head and then turned to Shepard again.

"Hey," she said, "right now all I care about is getting _my _guys out of here!"

Shepard smiled.

"Your guys?"

Something soft appeared in Jack's eyes and she turned around looking at her students.

"Yeah," she said, "I guess so."

"I couldn't think of anyone who could care for them more," Shepard said smiling and then looked behind Jack at the dark-haired girl who was standing there.

"Sister?" she said and Belle's eyes went wide in shock, but then Shepard continued, "Sister Chakwas, is that you?" Jack understood what was going on inside Belle's head and couldn't help but chuckle… _surely she could have just a little bit of fun with this_.

"Yeah!" she said and grabbed Belle pulling her forward, "here, Shepard, here is your long-lost sister Chakwas."

Belle glared at her but the tension was lost on Shepard who just smiled and shook Belle's hand.

"It's nice to see you again," she said politely, and then grasped her ear. Apparently somebody was talking through her earpiece.

"Get back to the Normandy," she suddenly said, "we will find another way out of here."

…

Jack was sorry to say that she had actually doubted that they would manage to get to the Cerberus shuttle that Kahlee had managed to get her hands on. But together, Shepard, Liara, Garrus, Belle and the students they managed. They fought their way through the myriad of fighters that Cerberus had sent to them. Jack was bloody proud! Her students had done much better than she had thought. _Maybe they would be an asset in the war after all? _

Her students were now sitting down and Belle was attending to some cuts and bruises that they had procured during the fight. Shepard was again talking in her earpiece with Joker and an immensely relieved Kahlee Sanders was trying to get Shepard's attention.

"Thank you commander," she said when Shepard turned quiet, "We would have never gotten off that station if you hadn't come."

Jack was a bit out of breath but couldn't hold her mouth. She was feeling the usual euphoria she got from fighting, an effect from the conditioning she had gotten as a child, but she was also incredibly proud of her students.

"F…forget that," she said breathily, "we kicked some ass! Next place we dock, you are all getting inked. My treat! What do you guys want? Ascension project logo? A glowing fist? Maybe a unicorn for Rodriguez…?" She said the last thing with a teasing smile.

"Screw you ma'am!" The girl replied but then pulled her hand from Belle's grip, "ouch!" Rodriguez had had several pieces of glass in her hand which Belle was pulling out and spreading some omnigel on the cuts.

"I can't believe we got them out alive," Kahlee was still voicing her relief, "I was going to suggest that the students were going to stick to support roles. But perhaps they are ready after all."

Jack and Shepard looked at each other, apparently going through some silent conversation. Belle didn't understand what was going on. _What are the students ready for, _Belle asked herself.

"They are definitely ready," Shepard said, "the alliance needs them, but as support roles."

The boy known as Prangley spoke up.

"But we have trained for artillery strikes!"

Shepard just shook her head. The commander did not appreciate being interrupted, especially not by a biotic teenager.

"We don't need more artillery strikes," she just replied, hoping that that was that. But now it was Rodriguez turn to voice her protests.

"This is bullshit!" she yelled.

"Hey," Jack said, her voice surprisingly soft, "if that is where they need us, it is where we will go… besides, I'm sure we will get some shots in."

Before they could keep talking, Joker's voice suddenly spoke through the intercom system.

"Commander we got a visual on you now. Preparing to dock." Then on a less serious note he continued, "hey, Jack, now that you're military, are you going to wear a uniform or are you just getting the officer's bars tattooed on?"

Jack put her chin in the air.

"Screw you f…" she put her head down defiantly, "flight lieutenant."

"Hahaha," Joker continued, "what was that?"

Kahlee Sanders giggled as well and then offered an explanation.

"Jack promised to watch her language around the kids so she could maintain some professionalism that we do expect from our teachers."

Another burst of laughter could be heard over the intercom.

"Kids," Jack said, "cover your ears."


	13. Chapter 13 - Finding your place

**Chapter 13 – Finding your place**

Back on the Normandy Jack took her students into the mess hall, wanting to get them something to eat. She enjoyed being back on the Normandy and even more that the vessel was no longer Cerberus.

She had to chuckle when she saw how fascinated her students were with being inside the ship of the famous Shepard. The professor suddenly felt sentimental, feeling like taking her students around the ship, showing the place under the engineering deck where she used to sleep, showing where she used to sleep, where she kept her guns. Belle had disappeared somewhere, probably visiting her mother who was yet again working at the Normandy.

In the mess hall, Jack pointed her kids towards the food and then she sat down. She wasn't hungry; she was horny. The fight had been exhilarating and seeing her calm girlfriend throwing grenades and yelling had been quite… alluring. Not to mention sexy as hell.

…

Inside the medbay, Belle was talking to Chakwas, standing close. Belle was holding up her last biotic grenade, apparently explaining how it was working. Belle had one hand on a gurney and holding a tube of omnigel in her hand. She looked like she belonged.

"Belle?" Jack asked. She had come to get her girlfriend.

Mother and daughter looked up and Jack was almost amused by how much they looked like each other. The same pointy nose, the same stern look in the eyes. How nobody had seen the family resemblance before was beyond Jack.

"What is it?" Belle asked and took a step forward.

"We are going to dock at the citadel, are you ready to go?" Jack was feeling insecure, hated it and her way to deal with it was to simply act like there was no uncertainty. Belle _was _coming with them.

To Jack's distress, Chakwas placed a firm hand on Belle's arm.

"Oh girl, you are not leaving again, are you? You can definitely be of use here." Chakwas saw the look that the women were sharing.

"Perhaps," she continued, "perhaps Jack could stay too?"

Belle took one look at her aunt and then one at Jack. There was never any doubt. She turned to her mother again.

"Mom," she said softly, "if you write me a letter of recommendation I am sure that a hospital on the citadel will employ me. I can do much good there as well."

Jack grinned when Chakwas nodded and reached for her omni-tool.

…

They were almost at the citadel. Belle and Jack were walking towards the mess hall to retrieve the students when they ran into Shepard. Belle couldn't help it but gave Jack a quick look and then stopped.

"Um... Shepard," she said, next to her Jack rolled her eyes and then kept walking with a soft chuckle. Apparently Belle's family relations amused her immensely.

"What is it, sister?" Shepard replied, all business as usual. But all it did was summon a further laugh from Jack who was still within ear-shot and a rather uncomfortable smile from Belle.

Shepard raised an eye-brow. _What did the nurse want with her? _They had never really talked before this.

"Oh nothing, "Belle said, almost losing her confidence. She wasn't planning on telling, she just wanted to talk to her sister for a few minutes, "I just… how is the war going?"

Shepard just stared at her.

"Um, sister," she said, also clearly uncomfortable, "the war is going… I don't know, it is a war. Is there anything specific you want to know?" Shepard started to feel really puzzled.

"How is your mother?" Belle could have bitten her tongue. _What the hell was wrong with her? _She had no right to ask that.

Shepard started to look somewhat furious and Belle felt her heart beating in her chest. She needed to say something, anything. She wanted to establish some form of connection with her sister but had no way of doing so.

"I'm sorry commander," she said softly, "I don't know what's wrong with me… it's just… Family is important. I hope that everyone will survive in the end."

Shepard's countenance softened. _Perhaps everything had just been too much for the girl._ She had to let her down easy.

"I understand… Belle," she said, "but this is a war. Everyone won't survive. I will do my best though, you have my word."

Belle nodded and then walked past Shepard. _Shepard might think I'm crazy, _she thought to herself, _but at least I got to talk with her. _

…

In an alliance building on the citadel there had been three separate quarters prepared. One for the female students, one for the male students and then one room for the professor. There was none for Belle but the women didn't mind, more than content to share room.

Tomorrow their work started. Belle was going to report to the hospital and Jack was taking her students into battle.

"This is a nice room," Belle said as she sat down on the bed, "but I hate that you are going into battle tomorrow."

"Oh don't worry little girl," Jack replied and stood by the window, "I have been in battle before."

Belle stood up and went up to her biotic, hugging her from behind.

"I know," she whispered, "I just… if something happens to you… I…"

Jack tensed up; she had had this conversation before. With someone else; a man, a stupid man who had eventually given his life to save Jack's. The idiot, Jack would have never done the same for him.

She turned around and put her arms around Belle's shoulders. Held her close. Her speedy movement had been so fast that it had alarmed the nurse slightly but she soon relaxed in the arms of her biotic.

"I love you Jack," The words were muffled as Belle's face was pressed into Jack's shoulder, but Jack still heard them. She opened her mouth, wanting to reply but the words wouldn't leave her lips; despite the fact that she had written them down once.

The girl in her arms sighed, moved her arms up and placed them around Jack's neck instead. Pulled herself up and kissed Jack's cheek. Then she moved again, kissing Jack's other cheek. Then Belle moved on, also kissing Jack's eyelids, the tip of her nose, her chin and then lastly, Jack's lips.

Jack reciprocated, deepening the kiss. Trying to hold Belle even closer.

Belle got free from her grip, and moved towards the bed.

"Come here," she said and sat down on the bed. Jack responded eagerly and within a moment she was next to Belle, tugging at her skirt hungrily.

…

Belle woke up the next morning, feeling sore but happy. She didn't know if it had been the fighting or the war but for some reason her biotic hadn't been so gentle this time. In fact she hadn't been gentle at all. Not that Belle minded really. It had just been different. Jack had let herself go in a way that she hadn't previously, pushing Belle down, almost dominating her. It had still been sweet though.

The girl sat up, reaching for her t-shirt and stretching her aching limbs, she was alone as Jack had left sometime early in the morning and would not be coming back until later. She put her shirt on and tried to locate her underwear. They were nowhere to be found, what she did find however was a note on top of the desk. It was short, but oh so sweet.

_I love you, _

_J._


	14. Chapter 14 - The Cerberus Patient

**Chapter 14 – The Cerberus patient**

**…Two weeks later…**

Jack was finally back on the citadel. She liked fighting and all, and it was great to be back on the battlefield but she couldn't help but to be worried about her students. They were so young and she knew that they were in trouble every time she took them there.

Jack turned to her students who were walking behind her.

"Listen up, everyone," she said, "you get back to your quarters and rest. There is going to be more of this tomorrow. I'm going to take Rodriguez to get some medical attention."

With Rodriguez behind her they walked up to the new medical facility. Rodriguez was doing better than anticipated, but the pained look in the girl's face showed that her arm was severely hurt; possibly broken. The medical facility was a temporary building as the regular hospitals had been swamped with dying and wounded soldiers and individuals who had managed to escape the carnage on their home planets.

"Sister Chakwas?" Jack asked a nurse who was hanging around the door; she didn't answer as she was talking quickly into her omnitool but pointed one finger to the left.

"Do I really need to see her again, ma'am?" Rodriguez asked carefully as they went through the door.

Belle was alone in the room, tending to the wounds of a man who was lying on a gurney. When they entered Belle looked up and when she saw it was Jack, her eyes widened and she went up to her and hugged her.

"There are so many dying people," she said, "I keep worrying… there are so many people. And earth, Jack…and I keep worrying that you won't come back."

"Shhh," Jack said and patted her back, "I'm here now."

She moved back and then motioned for Rodriguez to move forward.

"Now, can you look at Rodriguez's arm?"

Belle nodded and reluctantly let go of her girlfriend and instead held out her hand so that she could take Rodriguez's arm. After a quick look she nodded.

"It seems broken I'm afraid, I'm going to have to get dr Michel." Belle made a motion for them to leave the room, "we are going to have to change room."

"Why?" Rodriguez asked.

Belle sighed. She took one slightly worried look at the biotic and then pointed to the man behind her.

"Because of him. I'm the only one who is willing to treat his wounds."

"Why?" Rodriguez asked but by then Jack was next to the man and saw the markings on what was left of his suit.

"He is _Cerberus!" _She almost yelled and lifted one blue glowing fist towards him. Before she managed to bash his head in, Belle had thrown herself on her arm and was trying to pull her back.

"Hey," Jack called out in surprise, "what is your fucking problem? He needs to die!"

Belle still refused to let go of her arm.

"No, Jack," she yelled, "he is my patient! He trusts me to treat him and I will! Then when he is well and no longer my responsibility you can kill him all you want _but… not… now_!" The air was knocked out of her as a ball of biotic pushed her back against the wall.

Jack was standing next to the man, her eyes somebody else's. Rodriguez had now moved back from her professor and was standing pressed against the wall.

"Rodriguez," Jack said surprisingly calm, "go out and ask for a Dr Michel who can treat your arm. I will come in a bit." Rodriguez nodded and left the room.

When she was gone Belle walked up to Jack.

"Jack…" she pleaded, "he might have done stupid things in his life, but… he, alone, is not Cerberus. He's… he's somebody's son, Jack. There is somebody waiting for him to come home…" Jack wasn't listening. Instead rage was filling her body. She took up the gun she had on her hip and fired two bullets into his head.

"I don't want to know how many sons, daughters, girlfriends and mothers who haven't come home because of him." She said in an empty voice, with her back to Belle.

Belle just looked at her back, tears filling her eyes.

"And now he won't come home because of you," she said in a low voice. The man had looked at her with pleading eyes and showed her a picture of a woman; Belle had wanted to preserve him for that woman. Now he was dead, still clutching the picture in his hand.

Neither woman moved for a while. It was as if they couldn't really tell what had just happened. It felt as if in one minute they had been so happy to see each other and in the next they felt like they had both been betrayed. Jack couldn't believe that Belle had actually been treating a Cerberus agent and Belle couldn't believe that Jack had killed her patient.

"I need to go," Jack eventually said, "I need to get Rodriguez back… I'll… I'll see you later."

Belle didn't look at her but instead just stood still as the biotic left her alone with the dead man.

…

Belle was scared when she returned to their room a few hours later. She didn't feel bad about treating a man affiliated with Cerberus; she couldn't. But she did feel bad that Jack felt that she had betrayed her. She wanted Jack to trust her. She couldn't feel angry at the biotic either; the behavior had surprised but not scared her.

She eventually found herself in front of their door, but didn't feel strong enough to enter. _Should she knock? _

Before Belle could decide if she should knock or just enter the door opened. In the doorway stood a sleepy Jack wearing just shorts and a t-shirt. Apparently she had been in bed. Belle noticed with slight worry that Jack had her gun in one of her hands by her side.

The women stood still, silently just looking at each other until Jack stood to the side and nodded for Belle to enter. The girl entered the room and put her jacket on the chair by the desk. The biotic closed the door and sat down on the bed. She watched her girl go to the bathroom, after the sound of teeth being brushed and a toilet flushing, the girl came out again. With her back to Jack she started changing, brushed her hair which was again shifting into red.

"Do you hate me now?" Jack asked softly; she couldn't stay quiet anymore. She didn't exactly feel bad about it. She knew that faced with the same situation she would act the same, but the woman couldn't stand the thought that Belle hated her. Or that she had hurt Belle with her behavior.

The girl stopped moving, turned around and met Jack's gaze.

"I'm not sorry," they both said in the same time. Belle nodded, went up to the woman sitting on the bed. Sat down next to her carefully and then kissed her softly on the forehead.

"I don't hate you," she said, "and I hope you don't hate me."

Relief shot across Jack's face and she grabbed Belle, pulling her onto her lap, into her arms.

"I had to shoot him," she said, "I just couldn't let the fucker live."

Belle nodded and pushed her face into Jack's bony shoulder; it wasn't soft, but it was still Belle's favorite place in the universe.

"And I couldn't turn him down," Belle said, "or just let you kill him with him being my responsibility… It is my job, but it's more than my job. Just like you feel compelled to kill, I feel compelled to help. Cerberus agent or not."

The women didn't say anything else. They couldn't agree on this point, they were on different ends of the spectrum. They just hoped that they would never be in this situation again.


	15. Chapter 15 - Return to the Normandy

**Chapter 15 – Return to the Normandy**

The next day Jack and Belle woke up in each other's arms. Even though they had fallen asleep on different sides of the bed, they had moved during the night not wanting to be apart. They weren't planning on letting a Cerberus patient get in between them.

"Morning," Jack said when she opened her eyes and kissed the tip of Belle's nose. A pair of green eyes shot open at the touch. Belle smiled.

"Good morning," she replied and sat up, "what time is it? Do we have time to eat breakfast together for a change?"

Jack nodded, kissed her again and got up to get dressed. She was going to have to check on her students first but having breakfast with Belle was always nice. It was there way of pretending that everything was fine, that maybe their domestic little scene could one day become reality. But Jack had seen the reapers; she had seen the devastation they were leaving everywhere. She didn't truly think that they would survive it; her main goal was keeping herself, Belle and her students alive for as long as possible.

Belle was brushing her hair when there was a sudden knock on the door. Jack held up her hand and just quickly took up her gun. _Just in case. _Then she nodded and Belle opened the door.

"Shepard!" She said, "Oh and Dr T'soni! Come in, come in!"

Shepard and Liara walking into their room, nodded at Jack who was by now completely dressed. The nurse had by now gone to the couch in the room and quickly moved the clothes and guns that had been laying on top of it.

"Please sit," she said to her guests and dropped the weapons and jackets on the bed.

"No, that's okay," Shepard said, "we aren't going to stay." She turned to Belle.

"Sister," she said and a giggle escaped from Jack, "Your aunt has requested that you join us once more on the Normandy. Partly she needs your assistance and partly she feels that the citadel is becoming less and less safe. I agree with her. Jack is not going to stay long at the citadel either as she and her students are being transferred to another base later this afternoon."

Shepard turned silent and watched the women looking at each other. Jack was looking quite calm as usual but Belle had a look of desperation in her eyes.

Jack turned to Shepard.

"Okay, Shepard," she said, "how much time do we have before you leave?"

Shepard looked uncomfortable, she didn't want to split the couple up; she had hated every minute away from Liara and in these times of war… who knew whether Jack and Belle would even get to see each other again. But they were soldiers, not just people. And this was war.

"Um," she said, "We will go back to the Normandy now. If Belle is coming with us, and I strongly hope that she will, she needs to be there within the hour."

Jack nodded and the two women left.

When the door closed behind them, Belle turned to Jack, her eyes filled with furious tears.

"You want me to go?" She said; her voice filled with anger and hurt.

Jack shook her head and then looked up, calm present in her eyes.

"You heard the Girl Scout," she said, "it's not safe here. So you are not staying. I rather have you far away and safe then…" She didn't finish the sentence. But her girl was not convinced.

"I can make my own decisions," she spat and crossed her arms over her chest. _She didn't want to go._

Jack walked up to her.

"Belle Chakwas," she said and with a hand on Belle's quivering chin made the girl look up, "wouldn't you rather be alive on the Normandy and helping? Shepard would only come here if it was absolutely necessary, you know this." Belle met Jack's gaze and nodded.

"Fine," she whispered, "you win. But if you die on me I'll kill you." The words were so out of character for her girl that it made Jack chuckle.

"Fine," she said, "whatever you want."

Belle didn't really have anything other than the clothes on her back, so there wasn't any packing that needed to be done. Instead she just brushed her hair one last time and put it up in a ponytail.

"You know," Jack said teasingly, "I prefer it when it is down."

"So do I," Belle said and smiled, "but it is hardly practical."

"Come here," Jack said and opened her arms.

…

When Belle entered the Normandy she turned around once more trying to get a last look at her loved. To her disappointment Jack already had turned around and was walking back. Belle felt tears at the edges of her eyes. Was Jack really in such a hurry that she couldn't even say good bye properly?

…

As soon as Belle had stepped up to enter the ship Jack had turned around and started walking. She felt tears flowing down her cheeks and she did not want to upset the girl. It was better that way. Now the girl was safer and Jack could focus on the war.

* * *

**Sorry, very short chapter. Between a lot of studying and a bit of a writers block my fic hasn't got the attention from me that it deserves. I'll get better soon I promise.**

**And we are working our way towards a very happy ending, promise :)**


	16. Chapter 16 - It is just blood

**Chapter 16 – It is just blood**

"Have you told her?" Chakwas voice made Belle lift her gaze from the book she was reading. It had been three days since Belle had once more joined the Normandy. Things had been strained between her and her mother and it didn't help that they never got to talk alone. There were people everywhere and the medbay was usually occupied by Mordin and Eve. This was the first time the two women had been alone. Eve had left the Normandy and Mordin had gone into hiding.

It didn't take long for Belle to understand what her mother meant.

"You mean Shepard? No, I haven't," she said and Chakwas nodded. She stood up and stretched her legs.

"Have you heard from Jack?" She continued and Belle lifted an eyebrow. They never talked about personal things, or did small talk. They just didn't have that kind of relationship.

"No," she said after a while, "I haven't." It had been three days since she had heard Jack's voice and it was driving her insane. But whenever she talked to Shepard about it, her commander assured her that if anything happened to Jack they would get word. It didn't settle Belle's nerves though. Perhaps she could go to Shepard later and ask if there was some way to get in touch with her girlfriend. If she could only hear her voice Belle would feel much better.

EDI's voice suddenly sounded over the intercom.

"The commander is back on the ship and she requires immediate medical attention. Be ready."

…

A few minutes later Shepard came hovering on a cloud of biotic energy held up by a worried Liara. Chakwas immediately reached for her medical omnitool and Belle brought the gurney forward and held on to it as Liara placed their commander on it.

"What happened?" Belle asked and Liara answered without taking her eyes of the injured woman.

"She was hit in the stomach by several bullets, and then hit her head as she fell… It was my fault really. I yelled out and she looked at me instead of the turian in front of her." Belle nodded and moved aside so that Chakwas could get access.

The doctor quickly scanned Shepard's body, muttering things as she read them on her omnitool.

"Her head is fine," she said after a while, "but she has already lost a lot of blood and the bullets need to come out. She… she needs blood."

Liara almost slammed her fists on the gurney.

"But we are too far from any medical facility!" She yelled, "there is no way we would make it in time."

Belle put a hand on Liara's arm in an attempt to calm her.

"I can get the bullets out," Chakwas said, "I have all the equipment I need."

"What about the blood?" Liara asked, "you said she needed blood."

The doctor nodded and then gave Belle a quick glance.

"We got that covered," she said softly.

Belle grabbed a firmer hold of Liara's arm and tried to pull her back to give Chakwas more room. The doctor had by now opened Shepard's shirt and had started to prepare for taking the bullets out.

"Doctor, please," Belle said softly, "we will take care of her, don't worry. Give them some room."

Liara turned to her.

"What does she mean you got it covered?" Liara was still the Shadow broker and she could almost smell that there was something here that needed to be uncovered.

"Nothing," Belle said quickly, "it is just blood."

Chakwas looked up. She had now removed the three bullets from Shepard's abdomen and was now searching her head for some way to get the nosy asari out of the medbay. Of course they were going to use Belle's blood, they were half-sisters and their blood types matched.

"What am I missing here?" Liara asked but then a groan escaped from Shepard. Liara walked up to her and took her lover's hand.

"Fine, it doesn't matter," she said, "please, just make her better."

Chakwas nodded and looked at Belle who quickly took her outer shirt off, pulled a gurney up to Shepard's side and laid down on it. As Chakwas worked on Belle's arm, Liara looked on but did not ask any more questions.

When the blood donation was complete Lara went up to Shepard again and took her hand.

"She will be okay," Chakwas said and smiled. Belle smiled to, hoping that Liara wouldn't press on how they had been so sure that the girl was a match.

"Tell me," Liara said softly, "tell me, or I will find out anyway."

As Liara eyed the two women, Chakwas and Belle shared a silent conversation.

"It is just blood," the nurse tried again but Liara shook her head.

"It is not _just blood_," Liara said, "you are both acting…_guilty."_

Belle sighed.

"I am... related to Shepard," she said.

Liara wrinkled her nose.

"And Shepard doesn't know?" she asked.

"Can I?" Belle's question was directed at her mother aunt and Chakwas shook her head, then nodded, then shook it again.

"What is going on?" Liara asked, distraught at the strange behavior coming from her crew mates.

"I am Shepard's half-sister," Belle said eventually, "she doesn't know."

Liara nodded but internally wondered how she as the shadow broker had missed this information. The asari looked at Chakwas, lifting both her eyesbrows, wanting more information.

"Belle's father is David Shepard," the doctor said, lowering her head in embarrassment.

Liara was satisfied with the information and happy that Shepard was going to be okay. She stepped aside letting the doctor spread omnigel on her girlfriend's injuries.

…

Hot pain shot through Shepard's abdomen as she started to gain consciousness. When she opened her eyes she saw that she was in her cabin, on her bed. She looked around and groaned when she tried to move on her side. Touching her stomach the commander noticed that she had several layers of bandage around her person.

"What happened?" She grunted but felt relieved when the most beautiful voice in the galaxy answered her.

"You were shot," Liara said and stood up. She was quickly by Shepard's side, leaned down and touched her forehead to hers. Then leaned in to kiss her.

"I'm sorry," the asari whispered, "it was my fault. If you hadn't worried about me it wouldn't have happened."

Shepard chuckled but her laughter quickly turned into a pained cough.

"Don't worry baby," she said, "it is not the first time I've gotten hurt and it certainly isn't the last."

Liara sat up straight again.

"Shepard," she said," there is something I need to tell you."


	17. Chapter 17 - Sisterly conversations

**Chapter 17 – Sisterly conversations**

Chakwas had tried to mentally prepare but there was no way for her to be ready when an angry commander Shepard burst through the door of the medbay. She was limping slightly but walked towards Chakwas with quick steps. The doctor was sitting at her usual chair but didn't have a chance to get up before Shepard was trapping her in the chair with one arm on each armrest.

"All these years!" She growled, "All these years and you never told me. You brought her to _my _ship and you never told me!"

"Shepard, I…" Chakwas tried but Shepard cut her off.

"Shut it. I need to have some questions answered. First off why…" A small voice interrupted them.

"Oh, sorry," Belle said standing in the doorway. The commander and the doctor looked up, Shepard looked furious, Chakwas looked scared.

"Leave," Shepard said. Belle nodded quickly, clutched the book she was holding closer to her and then left. When Belle had walked through the door and it closed behind her she broke into a run and didn't stop running until she had reached the mess hall.

…

It was a few hours later; it was night on the Normandy. There was slight humming from the engine and most of the crew members had gone to bed. Apart from the few people who were on a night shift most areas where empty.

"Hello." A voice made Belle look up from her book. It was Shepard, looking a bit pale but calm. She took a few steps closer to Belle.

"I figured you would be here," she said.

Belle nodded and followed Shepard with her eyes as the soldier pulled out a chair next to her and sat down.

"So…" Shepard said.

"So?" Belle asked, her heart beating fast.

"I'm sorry," Shepard said, "first of all, I heard that you donated blood to save me. Thank you."

Belle nodded but didn't say anything.

"I am sorry that I lost my temper before," Shepard continued, "I have known your mother throughout my career; she has always been a dear friend. I felt betrayed. I have to ask, how long have you known?"

Belle cleared her throat.

"Not long commander, my mom only told me after I kind of figured it out on my own."

Shepard nodded, taking the words in.

"Sist… _Belle._ It hurts me that my father clearly was unfaithful to my mother. It hurts me that I have a sister that I never knew about, that _nobody_ was planning on telling me about. And right now I'm hurt… I don't know, I'm just hurt I think."

"I'm so sorry, commander," Belle said and hung her head.

Shepard waived her hands in the air.

"No, no, no more of this 'commander'-crap. Call me Shay, or at least Shepard."

"Shay," Bell said, "I… I _am_ sorry. I didn't mean for you to find out, at least not this way."

Shepard chuckled.

"If I understood it correctly you are as much a victim in this situation as I am."

She gave Belle a long look and then chuckled again.

"A sister, huh? I have a sister."

Belle tried smiling and was relieved when Shepard returned a smile.

"Is that why you acted so strange the last time you were here?"

Belle nodded.

"Yeah," she answered, "I had just found out and I wanted to talk with you. Hmm, Shay, can I ask you something?"

Shepard nodded and smiled again. She felt bad for letting her temper get the best of her earlier. She had a feeling that Belle had been shocked about all of this and the soldier's protective nature had kicked in. She wanted to make sure that Belle was okay.

"Do you remember our father? I mean, could you tell me about him sometime? If you don't mind I mean."

"Yeah!" Shepard said, "I don't remember much but I would love to share my memories with you."

The commander stood up, relieved that their talk had gone okay.

"Shay?" Belle spoke again, "could I get in touch with Jack? I just… really need to hear her voice."

"I understand," Shepard replied, "I will see what I can do. No promises though."

"No, no, I know! Sorry, just one last thing. Have you heard from Miranda Lawson?"

Shepard raised an eyebrow in surprise.

"Miranda? Yeah, I saw her briefly last week. She was worried about her sister. Why?"

Belle looked down for a few moments and when she spoke again her voice was quivering a little.

"I'm happy that she is alive. If you were to see her again or hear from her again, will you let me know?"

"I will." Shepard agreed, "but now I have to go. I'm still in need of rest and Liara will have my head if I don't listen to my aching body. But hey, how about this? Tomorrow have dinner with us. I can even tell you about dad."

Belle smiled as Shepard left. The girl was happy that the secret was out, Shepard even seemed happy about suddenly having a sister and she had said she was going to tell Belle about _their _dad.

But other conflicting feelings were also tugging at Belle's heart. Miranda was alive, why had she not been in touch? Belle knew that Oriana always came first but it did hurt that Miranda hadn't even checked if Belle was alive. Would she even have noticed? They had lived side by side for near nine months, Belle must have been naïve because she had really thought that they were friends.

* * *

**In the next chapter we will meet Miranda and Jack again!**


	18. Chapter 18 - We are at war

**Sorry for the late update, university is taking up all the space in my brain currently. I'm also starting to get tired of the snow!**

**I'm also thinking that my fiction is going to be a little bit AU from now on as I have no idea what happens in the end of mass effect 3, well, I have an idea but I'm a little bit fussy on the details. Anyway, enjoy :)**

* * *

**Chapter 18 – We are at war**

Jack was not enjoying the new sleeping arrangements at all. Instead of the lovely big bed that she had shared with Belle she was now sleeping in a bunk bed and being kept awake by the sound of Rodriguez's snoring in the bottom bunk. They were now stationed on earth and the reapers were attacking constantly. The alliance had set up a camp for the soldiers but they only got about four hours of sleep if even that and the sound of reapers attacking sounded throughout the day and night.

Jack moved her legs over the side of her bed and jumped down. Stretched her aching limbs, in the same time letting her gaze wander over her students, who were all seemingly fast asleep. The area their camp was in was still untouched by the reapers, but they had been getting closer and in the morning it was time to move the army tent again.

The biotic walked towards the entrance of the tent and followed the horizons with her eyes. She had never before been to earth and she had to chuckle at the thought that the first time she visited the birthplace of her species was at the end of the world. Jack had to wonder what she would have thought about earth if she had visited it earlier.

A figure walking towards them caught Jack's attention. The woman immediately took her gun out, surely the figure was a human, not a reaper, but it could still be an enemy. Jack would protect her students with her life, and hell, right now she would kill for them to be able to keep sleeping. They really needed their sleep.

The figure had now gotten close, now clearly displaying dark hair and a white and black jumpsuit. _I can't believe she is still wearing that thing, _Jack thought to herself and then stepped out of the tent to greet her former boss.

"Well," she said, disdain in her voice, "if it isn't the cheerleader?"

"Hello Jack," Miranda answered, "I was told you were here. I am supposed to fight with you and your students."

Jack scoffed.

"Help me? Fuck no, I left Cerberus and no way I'll ever be working with your kind again."

Miranda rolled her eyes. She was tired, hadn't slept for god knows how many days. She was genetically engineered, not a robot!

"Jack," She tried again, "I don't work for Cerberus anymore. Shepard sent me to you. Now, if I could just get a few minutes of sleep, preferably without you trying to murder me I would be grateful."

"Oh no you fucking don't," Jack said, not caring one bit that Miranda was tired, "I have a few bones to pick with you first."

"What?" Miranda groaned, not talking as elegantly like she usually did but not caring. _She was so tired._

Jack crossed her arms over her chest.

"Belle," she said, "you took advantage of her kindness, put her in danger and then completely left her."

"Oriana was in danger," Miranda tried but was cut short by Jack.

"Off course, the princess only cares for herself and her clone. Can't believe I fucking thought that you actually had some feelings. No, the only way you can care for someone is if she looks just like you. Fucking icequeen."

Jack's words hurt but Miranda tried to not let them get to her. She was used to Jack throwing insults around, but she almost had to smile – Jack was defending Belle. Miranda remembered another night, almost a year ago, when Belle had come into her room and rebuked her for being insensitive about Jack's past.

Miranda did care for Belle, she did. They were friends but Oriana always came first, no matter how close she got to anyone else. After Miranda had received confirmation that Oriana was indeed in the claws of Henry Lawson, she had dropped everything else, not caring who got in the way.

She opened her mouth.

"Off course I worried about Belle. I paid an information broker to find out where she had gone but it was like she had disappeared into nothing. I didn't stop searching for her until I met Shepard and she told me that Belle was safe with you."

"Okay," Jack said, nodding, "fine, you worried. What about fucking putting her in danger in the first place?"

Miranda sighed again, she had had enough.

"You know what, Jack?" She said, "Belle is an adult. She volunteered and even had to convince me, if you have a problem take it up with her when all this is over."

"Yeah, like it will ever be over," Jack muttered to herself but didn't stop her when Miranda pushed past her into the tent. When she got inside the former Cerberus operative quickly lay down on one of the empty cots and fell asleep immediately. She trusted that Jack would not let anything happen to her students and because of this Miranda was also safe.

…

"Who is that?" The rather loud question woke Miranda up. She had gotten about four hours of sleep and for now that was more than plenty.

"That is Miss Lawson, Prangley" Jack said, "She is to fight by our side from now on. She is a biotic like us." Jack was trying hard to be calm. A big part of her still hated Miranda with a burning passion but this was war and Jack grudgingly had to admit that the princess would be an asset in battle.

The biotic slapped Prangley's arm, trying to catch his attention as he was staring a bit too hard on Miranda's curvy shape.

"All right listen up," Jack said to her students, "we are going into a reaper heavy area today. We are to stay back partly; working mainly with shielding but if you see a husk coming to close to any of you, by all means, kick its ass. Look around, have each other's back, and fight like there's no tomorrow."

…

_In the darkness of night_

_In the terror of fight_

_A colorful light_

_Flashes through the sky_

_The people cheer, the enemy die_

_But in the hearts of our heroes, silence remain_

_Wondering if anything will be the same again_


	19. Chapter 19 - Post reaper war (part 1)

**Chapter 19 – Post reaper war**

_The first few hours after Shepard had destroyed the reapers everything went by in frenzy. Miranda had found them when they were still on earth fighting and when the Normandy left to get them out of there she had come with them but Dr Chakwas had stayed behind and helped. Joker had gotten them away from all the destruction and with the help of EDI had driven them away from the majority of the explosions. They had landed on a random planet where they stayed and waited, standing together in front of the memory wall, Liara clutching a plack saying _Shay Shepard _but she could not make herself put it up._

Eventually they went back to earth, needing to see what had truly happened and needing to find Shepard. Belle also wanted to find Jack and the doctor. The earth was quiet, you could hear cheering from groups of people but there was emptiness in the air that tugged at the women's hearts as Miranda, Liara and Belle walked slowly through what had once been a town. _Where do the champions go once the fight is over?_

Miranda suddenly pulled Belle's arm to get her attention.

"It's doctor Chakwas," she said and pointed.

Belle immediately ran forward to the body that had once been her mom. Chakwas was dead, badly burned and had her arms wrapped around a small child, also dead. She had died in service, just like so many others. Belle cried and screamed, not wanting to believe that her mom was actually dead and suddenly she found herself crying in Miranda's embrace.

"Come on," Miranda said and stroked her hair, "we have to keep moving, we need to find Shepard."

Belle nodded and tried to compose herself. She reached down and softly moved a few hairs from what had been her mother's face. Then without really knowing why she reached down and retrieved Chakwas' alliance doctor's license. It was badly burned and no longer contained her photograph, her date of birth or her first name. Belle stared at it for a moment but then, hardly knowing why, tucked it into her pocket. Then the women continued walking.

"She's alive!" A young soldier suddenly shouted and came running, "Dr T'soni! Shepard has been found and she has a pulse."

The three women ran quickly in the direction that the young soldier was pointing but were soon stopped by three other soldiers, also alliance, blocking their way.

"Sorry," one of them said, "we are to guard Shepard until our commanding officer comes by and we are not allowed to let anyone through."

"Oh that is not a wise choice," Liara said in a threatening voice and raised one glowing fist but before she had the time to blast their way through, Belle went up next to her and motioned to Liara to put her fist down. Her plan was daring and a little bit insane, but it had to work.

"I'm doctor Chakwas," she said, "look here is my doctor alliance license, part of it is clearly burned but here is my regular I.D. I'm the doctor from Shepard's own ship. You need to release her to me so that I can start treating her, surely your commanding officer would not be happy with you if you let the great commander Shepard die because you refused to let her see a doctor."

Belle held her breath as the soldiers looked at each other, at loss at what to do. They were young and she hoped that their fear of getting in trouble was strong enough for them to give her access to her sister.

Finally one of the women nodded.

"Very well, Doctor," she said, "you may retrieve her body."

"Let's get her to the Normandy," Belle said to Miranda and Liara and then they went to get their commander's broken body.

"Why did you do that?" Miranda asked Belle as they were walking back to their ship. They were walking slowly, Shepard being carried once more on a cloud of biotic energy.

Belle sighed and explained.

"I've had enough of the alliance and it felt like if we let them take her now we would never see her again. I figured that between the three of us we have enough medical knowledge to patch her up."

"Thank you," Liara said softly.

"We won't let them take her again," Belle said, feeling relieved as they had finally reached the Normandy, "I promise."

…Two weeks later…

The mass relays were still malfunctioning and they were still living onboard the stranded Normandy, parked in what had once been a town called Brighton. Vega and Cortéz had left together, and so had Garrus and Tali, wanting to check up on loved ones, but also together.

Miranda had left as soon as Shepard was stable, but promised to return as soon as she had located Oriana and maybe bring her back with her.

Eventually there were only five people left on the Normandy. Jack and EDI, who had nowhere else to go were still living there, and Belle and Liara were treating Shepard as well as they could. Shepard was alive, badly burned and had broken bones that Belle hadn't even known a human could break, but alive. And she was getting better, luckily the medical bay was very well equipped and Belle was an overly qualified nurse. Shepard still hadn't woken up though.

Belle watched over her sister night and day, hardly slept at all and when Liara had confessed that she was pregnant with Shepard's child Belle worked even harder, wanting badly for her niece to have a second parent.

"Belle," EDI's voice disturbed Belle's train of thought as she was sitting, going through Shepard's medical files once again. "There are some people at the entrance looking for you."

_I wonder who it is; _Belle thought to herself and wrinkled her nose. EDI knew all the names of people that they could possibly be expecting which meant that their visitors were strangers.

Belle started walking and silently prayed that it would not be SHAY SHEPARD'S FAN CLUB again, those idiots had bothered them constantly until a scary Liara had scared them off with the threat to flay them with her mind.

When she saw who was waiting for her she broke out in a run and hugged her friend.

"Miranda!" She said, "It's so nice to see you. Oh, and Oriana, hello." She and Oriana had never actually met before; they shook hands and smiled politely at each other. Then she quickly turned to Miranda again, her eyes asking a question.

"Have you seen…" She started and felt her heart sink when Miranda shook her head.

"Sorry, I have not seen or heard from Jack."

Belle looked down, suddenly feeling all the tear of staying up for days on end. She was tired.

"Don't lose hope," Oriana suddenly said, "if she loves you she will find you. She certainly sounds stubborn enough to still be alive."

Belle nodded, she wanted to believe but after two weeks of no life signs she was starting to lose hope.

"Come on," she said to the Lawson sisters, "I will show you where you can sleep."


	20. Chapter 20 - Post reaper war (part 2)

**Chapter 20- Post reaper war (part two)**

The Normandy was no longer a ship; she was a cottage and a home to the people living inside her. Her systems were malfunctioning, the map in the comm room had stopped working but she served efficiently as a home. EDI was still a part of the Normandy and Joker couldn't leave his darling ship and AI, Miranda and Oriana had settled right in. Liara's belly was starting to show and Shepard had finally woken up from the coma, Belle still treating her, pretending to be Dr Chakwas to anyone who enquired. The five people hid themselves from the world, not ready to face reality and the nurse knew that Shepard wasn't ready for publicity. Liara still had an ear out in the galaxy, her shadow broker equipment still working, listening in case things got too erratic and disturbed.

The intergalactic society was rebuilding, not without conflicts and looting. The mass relays were now up and running, the citadel was once again inhabited and most species were once again looking to the council for guidance. The cycle was broken; the world had survived the end.

Belle was still waiting for, and worrying about, Jack. A large part of her wanted to leave the Normandy, set out and look for her lover, but she couldn't leave Shepard and now, she could no longer leave the pregnant Liara.

Liara and Belle were sitting on a blanket, just outside the Normandy, enjoying the last days of sunshine before their part of the earth would turn to winter.

"Have you told her yet?" Belle asked Liara and glanced down on the unfamiliar roundness on Liara's belly. The asari sighed.

"No," she said, "she is still weak and what… what if she is not pleased?"

Belle grabbed Liara's hand and gave it a reassuring squeeze.

"She is going to be thrilled," she said, "I know it. And she is getting stronger every day, my only worry is that she is in need of more physiotherapy than we are able to provide."

Belle closed her eyes and lifted her head towards the sun. They were alive, Shepard was alive, if Jack could only come home to Belle, the girl's life would be complete.

"What are you guys doing?" Belle opened her eyes and patted the empty space on the blanket to her right.

"Just enjoying the sun, come and join us," she said and smiled as the youngest Lawson sister came and joined the women on the blanket.

"Where is Miranda?" Oriana asked as she sat down and

"She has gone looking for provisions, should be back later." Belle felt a bit bad for lying but tried to soothe her bad conscience with telling herself that she didn't want to worry the girl. The truth was that Miranda was actually checking out some distress calls about a violent gang causing trouble in the nearest town.

Oriana was quiet for a moment.

"I know about the distress calls," she eventually said in a low voice. Belle didn't answer right away wondering what Miranda had been like in Oriana's age, wondering if she has been just as smart and meddlesome.

"She will be back later," Belle eventually said and let that be that.

Liara excused herself and went inside, wanting to spend some time with her lover, leaving Oriana and Belle alone outside on the blanket.

"You know what," Belle said after a while, "I'm so tired of everyone treating you and me like we are nothing to be reckoned with. We have seen as much as everyone else. You know what people in our age are doing? They are going to celebratory parties, letting off steam. Here we are, worrying, not sleeping. Sometimes I wish I could just have fun as well."

Oriana smiled.

"So, let's!" She said and stood up, "let's have our own party."

…

The girls found their way to the mess hall, where they helped each other first to push all the tables to the side. Then Oriana started searching the cupboards for something to drink whilst Belle scavenged for a good omnitool with music. The nurse eventually found Shepard's old one that had lots of old earth music.

Soon music filled the mess hall. Both girls were used to behave properly; it was such as relief for them to finally let off some steam. They drank, sang loudly to the music and danced around. Laughed, made jokes, drank some more and talked.

"Hey, I have another idea," Oriana suddenly said and the girls left the mess hall with the music still running.

They first went to Miranda's new quarters were the sisters slept, where Oriana located one of Miranda's trademark black and white jumpsuits, which she put one. She was still smaller than Miranda in certain areas but the likeness was still uncanny.

"My turn, my turn!" Belle said, laughing and together they went to Shepard's abandoned cabin. When they arrived Belle started looking for some clothes that had once belong to Shepard. The nurse eventually managed to locate a pair of Shepard's trousers that, other than being too long, fit very well. Then she put on one of Shepard's N7-hoodies. When done the girls looked at themselves in the mirror. Belle's hair was too long and Oriana's hair was too short; otherwise they did look a lot like their sisters. Especially Oriana who looked exactly like a younger version of Miranda.

They went back to the mess hall, now too tired to dance around they turned the music a bit lower so that they could hear each other talk.

"I'm Commander Shepard and this is my favorite store in the citadel," Belle said and giggled uncontrollable, "gosh, it was so annoying when that was all you could hear on the citadel!"

"I know!" Oriana chimed in, "does your sister say that about everything? Like, oh Liara, I am Commander Shepard and you're my favorite asari in the galaxy."

Belle grabbed her belly and laughed, finding it much funnier under the influence of alcohol.

"Or like this," she said and lifter her glass, "I am Commander Shepard and this is my favorite drink on the Normandy."

"I am Commander Shepard and this is my favorite chair on earth."

"Haha, yeah, I am Commander Shepard and these are my favorite clothes in the closet."

A cough made the two girls look up. There, standing and watching them for god knows how long, was Shepard, Liara, Miranda and Jack. And behind the old Normandy crew stood four of Jack's students.

"Jack!" Belle exclaimed, in such as happy haze that she could not have one thought of being embarrassed about her behavior. Jack took to steps forward and while everyone was watching they shared a passionate kiss. Eventually they had to pull away but Belle grabbed Jack's hand and refused to let go.

"Look who I ran into," Miranda smiled but raised an eyebrow in Oriana's direction, "apparently it was not a dangerous looting gang but rather Jack and her students behaving in a threatening fashion."

"I don't sound like that, do I?" Shepard asked and Liara shook her head and then rested it on her lover's shoulder. Belle looked at them and wondered if Liara's calm look meant that she had told Shay about the baby. The nurse got her answer when Shepard lifted the hand that was not holding her cane and without thinking put it protectively over Liara's belly.

"Jack," she said again, hardly believing that her lover was really there, alive and well, "how have you been? What has happened? How…"

Jack chuckled and interrupted her.

"Take it easy, little girl," she said, "my students are tired and so am I. If we can find them some quarters there will be plenty of time to talk for us."

…

The room that had once been both Dr Chakwas' and Belle's was now Belle's alone and as soon as the girl and her biotic got inside and closed the door they fell into each other's arms. Violently kissing and tugging at clothing, needing to feel skin to skin.

"Oh Jack, I've been so afraid," Belle whispered as Jack tugged at the N7 hoodie, pulling it off and throwing it to the floor. She needed Belle so badly. The girl tugged at her clothing too and even though Jack was not ready to show Belle how badly she had been burned during the final battle she could not bear to stop her.

Once she was topless, Belle suddenly stopped; her eyes wide.

"Jack," she whispered and the biotic closed her eyes, "what happened to you?"

Jack retreated a little bit.

"I tried to save one of my students," she said, "I didn't manage."

Belle nodded, swallowed back some tears and placed a single kiss on Jack's cheek.

"Come here," she said and led Jack towards her bed. She took of the rest of her own clothing, or rather Shepard's clothes but left her underwear on. Then she undressed Jack who had stopped moving completely but made no attempt to stop her. Then the girl motioned for Jack to lay down, laid down next to her and threw her arms around her lover, pulled her as close as possible.

"When you are ready to talk I will listen," Belle said and felt Jack nod against her shoulder.

Jack fell asleep first but Belle stayed awake for a few more minutes. She wanted to feel that Jack was there, really there and not just some illusion that her drunk, tired brain had conjured. Now, for the first time Belle knew that the world hadn't ended.

* * *

**I'm not sure how I actually feel about this chapter.**

**But I did want Oriana and Belle to dress up in their sisters' clothing, just couldn't resist! I also couldn't resist making fun of Shepard's citadel phrase!**

**We are almost at the end, people, only the epilogue left :)**


	21. Chapter 21 - Epilogue- A year later

**Chapter 22 – Epilogue – A year later**

"Hey, wait up!" Rodriguez called and ran up to her teacher, who had been walking a few meters ahead with the rest of the students.

"Why are you always late?" Jack asked her.

Rodriguez sighed.

"It was not my fault!" She exclaimed, "Your wife needed some help so I stayed."

"Aha," Jack replied and had to smile at the mentioning of her wife. Belle had her own little practice in the town, together with Dr Michel and Rodriguez often stayed to help them, sometimes even missing Jack's lessons because of it. Jack reminded herself to talk about Rodriguez receiving some medical training later, since the young biotic seemed to enjoy it so much.

Belle and Jack weren't legally married; there was no time for that. But they had exchanged rings on their own and in everything but name Belle was very much Jack's wife. They were happy together, enjoying coming home from a hard day's work to each other's arms.

…

"Liara," Shepard called, "can you grab Acantha's blanket?" The commander was sitting on a chair in their bedroom, cradling her baby daughter in her arms. They were preparing to go to Jack's and Belle's for dinner.

The group had eventually left the Normandy, but not each other. Instead they had purchased three cottages together, one for Liara, Shepard and their daughter Acantha, one for the Lawson sisters and one for Jack and Belle. They tended to eat most meals together though and today it was Belle's time to cook – no one would touch the food the times Jack had tried.

Belle had went back to nursing, Jack to teaching, Miranda worked on restoring the towns on Earth, Joker had actually gone back to work for the alliance but refused to work on any skip that didn't let him have EDI, they were still inseparable. Shepard and Liara settled down, raising their daughter and just enjoying life, even had Athyeta come and live with them for a little while, but the matriarch soon left, claiming earth was too boring for her. Shepard was still weak and would perhaps never fight again, but she was completely content staying at home with Acantha while Liara continued being the shadow broker.

Liara entered the bedroom, looking _normal _in a pair of earth jeans and a tee-shirt instead of her normal suits. She bent down to kiss Shay briefly on the lips and then lifted her daughter up. They had named her Acantha Benezia Shepard and Liara longed for the day when Acantha was old enough for them to make her a sister. Being a parent was more amazing than Liara or Shepard could have ever guessed.

…

When Jack walked into their home Belle came and kissed her.

"You're home already?" Jack asked as she took her jacket off and smelled the air, "it smells amazing."

Belle giggled delightfully.

"Yeah, Michel knew that it was my turn to cook so she said she could deal with the last few patients on her own… You know, we should really invite her sometime."

Jack nodded.

"Yeah, maybe we should. Hey, Belle, by the way, you know about Rodriguez…"

…An hour later…

They were finally seated around the small broken table that just fit in Jack's and Belle's kitchen. It was Oriana who was holding Acantha, Miranda, Shepard, Liara, Belle… and Jack. Jack looked around the table and felt warmth come over her in waves. She loved the people who were sitting there, sharing stories and the meal with her. Hell, she could even admit to herself she loved Miranda in a family-way, even though she would never admit it. And Oriana was already taking biotic lessons from Jack.

She looked at the baby that Oriana was holding, then she looked over to her wife and affectionately grabbed her hand. _This is family, _she thought to herself and wondered if she and Belle would ever get to be parents. Jack liked the thought of raising a little mini-Belle, or a little mini-Jack, and letting them grow up without the chaos that had surrounded both hers and Belle's childhoods.

"I want to hold a speech," Shepard suddenly said and stood up, making a grimace from the pain she always felt from moving, "it's now a year since we defeated the reapers and…"

Jack drifted off, not able to focus on the speech. She was happy, Belle was happy. _The world didn't end, _she thought to herself, _the world has only just started. _

**THE END**

* * *

Gosh, I'm almost a little sad now that it's over!

Hope you have enjoyed reading it as much as I have writing it.

Thank you for all the reviews/follows/favourites - you have kept me going,

and thank you to everyone who has taken the time to read!


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